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Band 6.5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city
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It is often argued that
students
 need to be comfortable living for their studies. And some countries universities created a system for the study of living away from
home
 which explains for
this
 category of
students
 will be too difficult to go to the lessons in university. Personally, I am a proponent of the view that the advantages of
this
 exceed the disadvantages. In
this
 essay, I am going to elucidate both the benefits and drawbacks of
this
. One key benefit of
education
 far away from
home
 is access to quality
education
.
For instance
, Nazarbaev University opened the door for other town
students
 to live for free when they study.
Furthermore
,
students
 adapt to situations in a new atmosphere where they can add new shapes and feelings to their experience.
Finally
, living away from
home
 provides and recreates your parts of personality get used to the background learn new knowledge of social life.
On the other hand
, there are some notable drawbacks. Many undergraduates` psychology occurs glassy for living away from family and it brings issues like depression, stress and wistfulness.
For example
, pessimistic people don`t bring up those symptoms because they are stable in thinking realistic, but optimistic part of people usually think with their own fantasies and imagination which may bring bad consequences.
This
 shows that
students
 with trauma before or at the beginning were unstable mentally, they early or late feel apathy. In conclusion,
although
 living without familiar things may bring to mind issues, I firmly believe that plays a crucial role in educational programmes which need to support the emotional status of their student.
Therefore
, the advantages of far living from
home
due to
education
 at university outweigh the disadvantages, provided adapting to every condition in
education
 time.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to more clearly differentiate between the introduction, body, and conclusion of your essay. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations to fully illustrate your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay presents both the advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges that there are psychological challenges associated with living away from home, which adds depth to the discussion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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