IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #gap #year #school #university #work #travel #outweigh
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In recent years, the idea of taking a
gap
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year
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 or not when finishing
academy
Correct article usage
an academy
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 is highly debatable, especially for adolescents. The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay believes that the benefits of enhancing soft
skills
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 or gaining new relationships outside schools outweigh the drawbacks of falling behind. Taking a
gap
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year
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 benefits teenagers by improving social
skills
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 outside the classroom. To put it differently, young folk can get a job in their
gap
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year
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, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them develop
skills
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 like teamwork
skills
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. These
skills
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 can be essential for
further
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 steps of life,
such
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 as going to university or getting a full-time job. From the writer’s perspective, most international companies require citizens with not only academic
skills
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 but
also
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 soft
skills
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 in order to boost the organization’s performance.
Thus
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, making
skills
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 out of institution programs is necessary. Gaining new relationships should
also
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 be taken into account. Having
friends
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 in the college years can be fun, but teenagers should make new
friends
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 outside the faculty border to broaden their communication network, those who can help them relieve stress or hang out with, unlike college
friends
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, people will have someone to share their emotions and seek help when needed .
Therefore
Linking Words
, making new
friends
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 benefits society in many ways.
However
Linking Words
, teenagers are scared to take the time off. They fear that if taking it, they will fall behind a
year
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 from their classmates and waste time.
This
Linking Words
 would be true if universities put all students of the same age in one class. But the fact is organizations like universities welcome learners of all ages, so there would be no one falling behind.
Instead
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, taking a
gap
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year
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 can help gain
skills
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 which would take students 1
year
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 ahead. Taking all into account, the worry of falling behind is outweighed by the opportunity to gain
skills
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 or make new
friends
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.
Thus
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 a
gap
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year
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 can be beneficial for students wanted to take
further
Linking Words
 education.
Submitted by AE Gay lord on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider addressing more potential disadvantages of taking a gap year to give a well-rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more varied transition phrases between paragraphs. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
The advantages of taking a gap year, like improving social skills and gaining new relationships, are well supported and relevant.
task achievement
You provide clear, comprehensive ideas with specific examples, which effectively support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • real-world experience
  • personal growth
  • maturity
  • practical skills
  • CVs
  • future employment opportunities
  • broadening their horizons
  • cultural awareness
  • career goals
  • academic interests
  • academic momentum
  • rigors of study
  • financial strain
  • income source
  • personal development
  • achievements
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