IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart gives information about the number of books rented in a British local library in 2009.

The chart gives information about the number of books rented in a British local library in 2009.
The chart shows us
Use synonyms
book
Correct article usage
the book
show examples
 rent ranking in a British local library in 2009. General, despite the fact that at the beginning of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the year
show examples
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of borrowed books
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 low, by the end of
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 it gradually increased. All in all, the whole
year
Use synonyms
 was fluctuating. The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
book
Use synonyms
 renters was in the second month and the highest point was
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the first part of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the year
show examples
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 the
book
Use synonyms
 rent ranking started
stable
Change preposition
to stable
show examples
 growth. By the chart below it is noticeable that between January and
February
Add a comma
February,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of rented books decreased from 10 to 6.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 downturn
book
Use synonyms
 renters
number
Use synonyms
 reached 13 by April.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 July the count increased to 15 from June, when it was 14. Even if the second part of
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
 had a high rate, there were decreases. At the start it reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high level, to be more accurate it was 20 and the next month the
number
Use synonyms
 fell half as much as it was. Between October and November there sharp decline from 14 to 9.
However
Linking Words
, in December it reached
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 highest peak, which was 21.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words book, year, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: