Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an ongoing discourse about
children
Use synonyms
spending more
time
Use synonyms
watching
television
Use synonyms
compared to the past. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will examine both sides of
this
Linking Words
issue in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are several advantages to increasing the
time
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
spend watching
television
Use synonyms
shows. Watching
TV
Use synonyms
shows can enable
children
Use synonyms
to broaden their perspectives.
For example
Linking Words
, BBC News, one of the most famous news outlets, offers opportunities to learn about global events. These experiences can spark
children
Use synonyms
’s curiosity, contributing to a broader worldview.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, watching
TV
Use synonyms
can play a pivotal role as a social hub where
children
Use synonyms
develop common interests.
Children
Use synonyms
often enjoy sharing their preferences,
such
Linking Words
as popular
TV
Use synonyms
shows, which fosters a sense of connection and belonging among peers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the drawbacks of
TV
Use synonyms
are undeniable. One major concern is its impact on physical health.
According to
Linking Words
recent research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the human brain produces cortisol, a stress hormone, during prolonged
television
Use synonyms
viewing. Since
children
Use synonyms
lack sufficient life experience, they may struggle to choose healthier ways to relieve stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending excessive
time
Use synonyms
watching
TV
Use synonyms
often reduces the
time
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
spend with their parents. A decrease in social communication with parents can lead to lower satisfaction with their quality of life. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
television
Use synonyms
offers educational benefits for
children
Use synonyms
, it
also
Linking Words
poses risks to their physical and emotional well-being. By taking a proactive role in managing
television
Use synonyms
use, parents can help their
children
Use synonyms
enjoy the positive aspects of
TV
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
minimizing its potential harms.
Submitted by imagelim329 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Your response is well-structured. Ensure each paragraph distinctly supports the main arguments. Adding some linking words could further enhance cohesiveness.
Task Response
To improve your task achievement, consider providing real-life examples or statistics to strengthen your claims.
Task Response
You have offered a balanced view with clear advantages and disadvantages for television viewing.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, summarizing main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Each paragraph logically supports your thesis, maintaining a good flow throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational programs
  • diverse cultures
  • entertainment options
  • language skills
  • critical thinking
  • social awareness
  • shared experience
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • inappropriate content
  • academic performance
  • attention problems
  • social skills
  • commercial influence
  • addiction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: