It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that it is more useful to spend public money to promote a healthy

lifestyle

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to prevent illness

instead

Linking Words

of spending on the treatment of

people

Use synonyms

who are ill. I completely agree with

this

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statement because it allows

people

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to stay away from illness and lead a healthy life. If the

government

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spends public money on promoting healthy

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lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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, it will inspire

people

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to lead a healthy life. It will inspire them to eat healthy, exercise regularly and have proper sleep at night.

This

Linking Words

practice will improve public health in general, and the

government

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will not have to spend much money on the healthcare sector.

For example

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, in Australia, all the state governments arrange numerous campaigns over the year regarding several ways of leading a healthy

lifestyle

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, which inspire

people

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to go to

gym

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the gym

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regularly.

Moreover

Linking Words

, If the

government

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inspires

people

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to lead a healthy

lifestyle

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people

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will keep themselves away from

diseases

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. There is a common saying that "Prevention is better than cure." There

Change the verb form

are

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Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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fewer chances of getting affected by

diseases

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people

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maintain

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show examples

overall

Linking Words

healthy

lifestyle

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For instance

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, the

government

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of Japan always inspires its citizens to lead a healthy

lifestyle

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because it keeps them away from

diseases

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. The majority of

general

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the general

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public in Japan follows that, and they stay away from

diseases

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most of the time of their lives. In conclusion, I completely believe that the

government

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should promote

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

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because it is more beneficial for

people

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to lead a happy and healthy life and prevent

diseases

Use synonyms

rahman_rehanaWed Dec 25 2024

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task response

Try to further develop ideas with more examples or detailed explanations.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all transitions between paragraphs are smooth to maintain a logical flow of ideas.

task response

The essay provides a complete and clear response to the prompt, addressing both why promoting a healthy lifestyle is important and supporting this with examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively encapsulate the main ideas of the essay.

task response

Main points are supported by relevant examples, such as those from Australia and Japan, which add credibility to the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive measures
chronic diseases
healthcare costs
public health campaigns
lifestyle-related illnesses
quality of life
health-conscious society
allocate funds
balanced healthcare system
comprehensive healthcare strategy

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It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays number of older people select to live in retirement communities with other people rather than living with their adults .is it a positive or negative way.

Nowdays, advertising aimed at children is on the rise. Some people think this shoul dbe controlled. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.