IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #computers #life #support
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Part of the individuals say that computers have made
life
Use synonyms
 more easier. Other
people
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 say that it has made
life
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 more complex and stressful. In my opinion, computers make
life
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 more convenient because they take less of
people
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's time and easily connect individuals who are far away from home.
Firstly
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, by using the computer individuals can save time. Computer does the
things
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 that can be inconvenient or stressful,
such
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 as calculations and repeated inserting jobs. Application
such
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 as Exel and Word makes it much easier to do those
things
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.
Thus
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,
People
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 do not have to deal with simple
things
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 that can be annoying
while
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 living their lives.
For instance
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, for school alarm application companies, organising student identification is important because they have to send the notice. So, they use Exel to organize the information rapidly.
Also
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, it connects
people
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 much faster.
People
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 use various meeting applications,
such
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 as Zoom or Skype.
As a result
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, even though someone is far away, it is possible to reach them and talk to them facing their face.
For example
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, 10 years before most
people
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 couldn't see their family outside the country. They had to come back to Korea to see their family members. Some
people
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 in Korea took more than 10 years of 20 years to see their lovers. In conclusion, I think computers develop the quality of our daily
life
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 and connect citizens from all over the world because they prevent us from spending a long time on unimportant
things
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 and connect
people
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 from different countries.
Submitted by yujinkim412 on

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language
Ensure clarity by using consistent verb tenses throughout your essay.
coherence
Use connectors and transitions like 'furthermore' or 'on the other hand' to improve flow.
task response
Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your point.
task response
The essay presents a clear opinion and provides examples to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a complete response.
task response
The examples used are relevant and specific, such as the use of Excel for organization and video calls for connection.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revolutionized
  • Instant access
  • Productivity
  • Streamlining
  • Prolonged use
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Dependency
  • Over-reliance
  • Vulnerability
  • Technical failures
  • Data privacy
  • Cybersecurity threats
  • Identity theft
  • Work-life balance
  • Stress and burnout
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Entertainment options
  • Educational content
  • Staying informed
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