Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve the poverty. So rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than the financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is said that rich

countries

Use synonyms

give support to poor

countries

Use synonyms

in order to raise the level of their life. I am going to discuss two reasons why I am in agreement with

this

Linking Words

statement. The first reason rich

countries

Use synonyms

can help in education filled. To clarify, rich cities can help poor

people

Use synonyms

to study abroad by supporting them with money to those who get higher marks in their school, in order to study at a great university outside, which can open

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them a good job in future and better life.

consequently

Linking Words

, educating

people

Use synonyms

will reduce the poverty in their country.

For example

Linking Words

, many universities in the UK give poor students who get higher marks free study to complete their Bachelor's. The second reason is that businessmen can

also

Linking Words

help to reduce poverty in poor

countries

Use synonyms

. To explain, those type of

people

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can use their business in

such

Linking Words

a country in order to increase the market in the poor city by building new shops and restaurants. It

also

Linking Words

can open a new opportunity for

people

Use synonyms

to work in those shops or malls.

As a result

Linking Words

of that, the economic income will increase and will develop many aspects in that poor countryside.

For example

Linking Words

, Carrefour's market in all it is branches provides jobs like accounting. In conclusion, there are many ways to support poor

countries

Use synonyms

. Those

countries

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with a high rate of services should take an extra step to help

countries

Use synonyms

that suffer from poverty.

LoodyThu Dec 26 2024

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task achievement

Try to clarify your position more explicitly in the introduction and conclusion. You state that you agree but it would be more effective if you outlined your main arguments briefly there as well.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph presents reasonable ideas but try to create clearer and more explicit topic sentences for each paragraph, summarizing the main point. This will further improve the logical structure.

coherence cohesion

The essay sometimes lacks smooth transitional phrases between ideas, so enhance the cohesion by connecting ideas with linking words or phrases to guide the reader.

task achievement

Your essay presents a thoughtful discussion about different types of aid, emphasizing education and business involvement.

task achievement

You provide specific and relevant examples, such as the scholarships in the UK and Carrefour's role in employment.

coherence cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve the poverty. So rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than the financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Many people prefer to stay the same type of work all their life, and others prefer to change the type of work. Discuss both sides and state your own opinion.

Due to evelopment and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countires, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons for this? How to change their views？

Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty. But some other argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.