The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of web? What solutions can you suggest?

Since the introduction of the
internet
, its usage has been rocketing and reached new heights every day.
This
is an expected outcome of the vast range of applications it can provide.
However
, the more online society is, the more we realise the issues of
this
phenomenon. There are two main problems to deal with nowadays namely, misuse and over-use.
While
there have been pathways defined to move back to the right track, the latter issue seems quite complicated to solve. The most critical downside that needs immediate action is the way many misuse
such
technologies. By misuse, it means any device or process that can harm the user or others.
This
is a necessity to be taken care of since it not only hurts people financially, but it can even have severe mental consequences as well. In today's world, the public uses the
internet
for everyday life mundane tasks to the most complex ones of the finance world.
This
makes so much data vulnerable, resulting in the many hurtful stories we can hear about on the news.
Furthermore
, it can put restrictive limitations on the developers just to stop
such
behaviours.
For instance
, the exploitation of the Uber app clients' policy by some individuals forced the company to make drastic changes that are beneficial to no one.
In addition
to
this
, there is another hidden negative impact most don't even realise. It is the over-use which might bring forth numerous changes to public lifestyle. It is an undeniable fact that the net is entangled in many corners of our lives. Despite that, most cultures, no matter how strongly rooted they are in daily routines, can not withstand the weathering that the
internet
has brought. The more it spreads throughout our lives, the less space is left for
such
cultures. These are not always some ancient tradition that urban people held, even simple things
such
as the hang-out culture is under attack here. In a study done by the UBC, it was shown that many contributors to the traditions of residents of Africa are fading away as there is no room for them anymore. On a separate note, we must always look towards the fixes we can apply to these situations. The clear answer is to add regulations and establish
internet
activities ,so there won't be a clash anymore between the old and the new world. Taking firm action on the note can result in some much-needed and immediate after-effects.
Moreover
, in the long run,
this
can eradicate all traces of mistreatment.
However
, the larger the
internet
gets, the harder it will be to get rid of the over-use. Even now, it seems to be too late to take action. The regulations probably will need to find a middle ground just to let the local culture of many areas live alongside the
internet
. In conclusion, Whilst the
internet
has made everyday activities simpler, we should not forget what makes us human.
This
technology must be a tool to reach a goal, not change the goal itself.
This
can be achieved by imidate and global cooperation to set regulations.
Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on

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task achievement
Your introduction adequately presents the topic but could benefit from a stronger thesis statement that directly addresses the problems associated with internet use and potential solutions.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph contains a central idea and that ideas are fully developed and elaborated on. The fourth paragraph particularly lacks sufficient development.
coherence cohesion
While paragraphs are logically ordered, transitions between them could be smoother to improve the essay's flow. Consider using more varied conjunctions and signposts.
task achievement
Your conclusion restates the topic but does not succinctly summarize the main problems and suggested solutions discussed in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Remember to provide specific examples and data to support your points, such as more detailed information or statistics from the mentioned UBC study.
coherence cohesion
Review punctuation usage for compound sentences and in complex structures; some sentences could be enhanced by correct comma placement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • widespread use
  • main problems
  • associated with
  • cybercrime
  • hacking
  • privacy
  • data security
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • addiction
  • excessive screen time
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • online scams
  • fraud
  • loss of productivity
  • impersonal communication
  • social isolation
  • digital divide
  • solutions
  • suggest
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