In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In some countries

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college

students

Use synonyms

stay with their families

while

Linking Words

they

studying

Wrong verb form

study

show examples

whereas

Linking Words

in others, they move to another place

for taking

Change preposition

to take

show examples

their classes. There are many advantages

nor

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

disadvantages of living away from

home

Use synonyms

, but I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks for

the

Correct article usage

show examples

better future. Some people may think that living away from

home

Use synonyms

can lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

loneliness

due to

Linking Words

the struggle with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adapting

Change preposition

show examples

a new environment that

totally

Add a missing verb

is totally

show examples

different from their comfort zone.

Students

Use synonyms

who pursue their study abroad may feel isolated without

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family support especially when they are facing hard times to follow the lessons there.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if the

students

Use synonyms

come from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

low-income families

then

Linking Words

they will face obstacles in managing their living expenses.

On the other hand

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others consider that moving to other cities or countries will increase our independence and life

skills

Use synonyms

, especially in managing our

finance

Fix the agreement mistake

finances

show examples

, time and cooking

skills

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the facts about the most well-known universities with better

curriculum

Fix the agreement mistake

curricula

show examples

and networking

opportunities

Use synonyms

are located in bigger cities.

For example

Linking Words

, I felt happy to continue my

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

UGM Yogyakarta because they provide many

opportunities

Use synonyms

to have internships in

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

institutions and

also

Linking Words

giving

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

a lot of academic resources

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online and offline that can

be access

Change the verb form

be accessed

show examples

easily by the

students

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, the power of their

alumnee

Correct your spelling

alumnae

alumni

is so strong and

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

the fresh graduates gain

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

to some popular jobs that

benefits

Change the verb form

benefit

show examples

their future

carreer

Correct your spelling

careers

. As I explained

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

living away from

home

Use synonyms

may

brings

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

homesickness and financial

strugles

Correct your spelling

struggles

but it is just a temporary feeling,

whereas

Linking Words

the

upgrade

Replace the word

upgraded

show examples

skills

Use synonyms

and

opportunities

Use synonyms

gained

last

Linking Words

a lifetime. Many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

successful professionals can be

Change preposition

show examples

their best because they had experiences studying away from

home

Use synonyms

that enhance their independence and

skills

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, despite the financial and emotional challenges, I believe the benefits of independence and

persoal

Correct your spelling

personal

development

along with

Linking Words

the career

opportunities

Use synonyms

outweigh the drawbacks.

rhisaaidillaFri Dec 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance the flow of your arguments by using a wider range of cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all main points are fully supported with detailed examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

Consider structuring your essay with clearly defined paragraphs dedicated to each main idea, to aid the logical progression.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task effectively and provides both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, with a clear stance that benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

task achievement

The essay includes a personal example which enriches the discussion and exemplifies the argument about better curriculum and networking opportunities.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and restates the author’s position in a clear manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You had to cancel a meeting with a friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter apologize for canceling the meeting explain why you couldn't be there suggest an alternative day when you could meet

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Othour er believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?