These days, many people are relying on traditional medicine instead of going to the doctors. Why do people rely on traditional medication? Is this a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, most
people
Use synonyms
depend on traditional
medicine
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of visiting the hospital.
This
Linking Words
is because of its low cost and availability;
however
Linking Words
, I believe it is a negative development, especially when it comes to serious diseases. One reason why
people
Use synonyms
choose traditional
medicine
Use synonyms
is that it is affordable.
In other words
Linking Words
, these days,
people
Use synonyms
often cannot afford the high costs of modern
medicine
Use synonyms
, which include expensive tests, treatments, and consultations.
For example
Linking Words
, when a person falls ill, lives far away, or cannot afford the cost of treatment, they may resort to taking traditional
medicine
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
turn to traditional
medicine
Use synonyms
, which is cheaper and perceived as healthier because it does not contain any chemicals. Another reason is that traditional
medicine
Use synonyms
is easy to find.
That is
Linking Words
to say, since time immemorial, traditional remedies have consisted of herbs and oils, making them readily available in regions or public markets.
For instance
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
who live in villages or areas far from cities do not use modern
medicine
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
, they rely on traditional
medicine
Use synonyms
because it is herbal, more affordable, and readily accessible.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my view,
this
Linking Words
is a negative development, especially when
people
Use synonyms
suffer from serious illnesses. To put it simply, they should prioritize their health because it is more important than anything else.
While
Linking Words
traditional
medicine
Use synonyms
might seem natural, better, and more effective to some, modern
medicine
Use synonyms
, despite containing chemicals, is necessary for treating severe conditions and saving lives.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
depend on alternative medicines because they are cheap and can be found everywhere easily.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I think that if
people
Use synonyms
suffer from debilitating illnesses, they should seek help from doctors.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are directly supported by examples that are both varied and precise. Consider expanding upon the examples with a little more detail, such as specific cases or studies, if applicable, rather than just broad scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by making transitions even smoother. Linking each paragraph clearly to the central argument can help improve the logical structure of your essay. For example, use transition phrases or slightly more context at the beginning of each paragraph to emphasize continuity.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, both concisely setting the framework and summarizing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
It comprehensively addresses the task by providing reasons for traditional medicine reliance and evaluating the development as positive or negative.
task achievement
The essay stays on topic and presents logical arguments that align well with the task. It successfully points out why people opt for traditional medicine and gives a personal opinion towards the end.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: