It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this best both for individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that for the benefit of society and individuals, everyone should get married before they turn 30 but others oppose it. I somehow disagree with the notion, and I think that we should leave

this

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decision to their personal choice. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss both arguments.

Firstly

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, if society sets a particular

age

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for marriage it will lead to increased pressure on the young generation to get a partner in a hurry which may result in a wrong decision.

For example

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, in some countries there was a survey where some sort of

age

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was set for marriage, they have a high rate of divorce because people make decisions without thinking properly.

Moreover

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, today’s generation focuses more on their career and wants to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their dreams on their own so that they do not have to depend on their partners, but if they married at an early

age

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and their partner does not allow them to follow their dreams than their life will be wasted.

For example

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, most husbands who are from conservative families do not allow their spouses to do jobs for which they have done a lot of hard work in their entire life.

On the other hand

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according to

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the societal perspective

for

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apply

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early marriage is that it will maintain population growth across the country. As it has been scientifically proven that with the increase in the

age

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group

Add a comma

group,

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the chances of pregnancy decrease drastically. So, getting into a relationship at an early

age

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increases the chance of getting pregnant.

Apart from

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this

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, if the couple is lucky and they successfully deliver their baby in their forties, the offspring will not get proper care from their parent because when the child is a teenager the parents will get old. In conclusion, It should be advisable to the individual when to get married but the decision should be their own.

Submitted by sainimuskaan387 on Sat Dec 28 2024

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task achievement

Work on providing more specific examples to strengthen your supporting points. This could make your argument more convincing and clearer.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that all paragraphs are equally developed and connected to the thesis statement. This will create a more coherent and cohesive essay.

coherence and cohesion

Try using more linking words or phrases to seamlessly guide the reader through your arguments and make transitions smoother.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic and provides a brief overview of the essay structure.

task achievement

You have included relevant points for both sides of the argument, indicating a balance in perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Fertility
Maternal health
Psychological stability
Social maturity
Economic benefits
Shared responsibilities
Ancestral customs
Cultural imperatives
Personal development
Career establishment
Societal norms
Lifestyle choices
Divorce rates
Life decisions
Subjective wellbeing

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It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this best both for individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities so the population in countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive development or negative development?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some sports are dangerous, but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Some people think that competition at work, at school an in daily life is a good thing. Other believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

-Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste.