Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

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It is evident that
art
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and
music
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play an integral role in all societies. Despite the rapid advancements in technology,
art
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and
music
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remain significant in today's modern world for many reasons.
Additionally
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, there are several benefits for
children
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to spend more time learning
art
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and
music
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at
school
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. On the one hand,
art
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and
music
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continue to hold importance in the modern, technology-driven world for several reasons.
Firstly
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, they serve as effective tools for stress relief. In today's fast-paced lifestyle, people are often overwhelmed by work responsibilities and household chores. Engaging in artistic activities,
such
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as drawing or listening to
music
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, helps individuals balance their work-life dynamics, create positive energy, and refresh their minds.
Secondly
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,
art
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and
music
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have the power to strengthen human connections. People of different ages and cultural backgrounds can find common ground through a shared appreciation for a song or a painting. Unlike technology, which often isolates individuals,
art
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and
music
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bring people closer together.
On the other hand
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,
children
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should spend more time learning
art
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and
music
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at
school
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due to
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their numerous benefits.
Firstly
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, engaging in these subjects helps
children
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build self-confidence, a skill
that is
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essential for their future. Mastering new and challenging artistic tasks gives them a sense of accomplishment and boosts their confidence.
Secondly
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, learning
art
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and
music
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can enhance academic performance. By reducing stress and improving concentration,
art
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and
music
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enable
children
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to focus better on their studies, ultimately leading to higher grades and
overall
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success at
school
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. In conclusion,
while
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technology continues to evolve rapidly,
art
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and
music
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remain vital in modern societies. Students,
in particular
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, should spend more time learning
art
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and
music
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in
school
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as these activities contribute to building self-confidence and improving academic outcomes.
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task achievement
Incorporate a few more specific examples or anecdotes to strengthen your arguments. For example, you could mention particular studies or real-life examples that illustrate the benefits of art and music for stress relief or academic performance.
coherence cohesion
While the essay maintains a good flow, consider using some transitional words or phrases to further strengthen the connectivity between paragraphs and ideas. This can enhance the overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and covers all parts of the prompt effectively, maintaining relevance throughout.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear, comprehensive, and well-supported by logical reasoning that maintains reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively open and close the topic, reinforcing the central arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-organized. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to an overall persuasive piece.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • cognitive abilities
  • academic performance
  • self-expression
  • therapeutic
  • cultural awareness
  • globalized world
  • diverse cultures
  • technological advancements
  • interactive tools
  • accessible
  • engaging
  • STEM subjects
  • well-rounded individuals
  • innovative
  • problem-solvers
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