Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

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It is evident that

art

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and

music

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play an integral role in all societies. Despite the rapid advancements in technology,

art

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and

music

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remain significant in today's modern world for many reasons.

Additionally

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, there are several benefits for

children

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to spend more time learning

art

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and

music

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school

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. On the one hand,

art

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and

music

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continue to hold importance in the modern, technology-driven world for several reasons.

Firstly

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, they serve as effective tools for stress relief. In today's fast-paced lifestyle, people are often overwhelmed by work responsibilities and household chores. Engaging in artistic activities,

such

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as drawing or listening to

music

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, helps individuals balance their work-life dynamics, create positive energy, and refresh their minds.

Secondly

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art

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and

music

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have the power to strengthen human connections. People of different ages and cultural backgrounds can find common ground through a shared appreciation for a song or a painting. Unlike technology, which often isolates individuals,

art

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and

music

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bring people closer together.

On the other hand

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children

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should spend more time learning

art

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and

music

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school

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due to

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their numerous benefits.

Firstly

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, engaging in these subjects helps

children

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build self-confidence, a skill

that is

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essential for their future. Mastering new and challenging artistic tasks gives them a sense of accomplishment and boosts their confidence.

Secondly

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, learning

art

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and

music

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can enhance academic performance. By reducing stress and improving concentration,

art

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and

music

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enable

children

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to focus better on their studies, ultimately leading to higher grades and

overall

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success at

school

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. In conclusion,

while

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technology continues to evolve rapidly,

art

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and

music

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remain vital in modern societies. Students,

in particular

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, should spend more time learning

art

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and

music

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school

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as these activities contribute to building self-confidence and improving academic outcomes.

nguyennguyet.vcuMon Dec 30 2024

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task achievement

Incorporate a few more specific examples or anecdotes to strengthen your arguments. For example, you could mention particular studies or real-life examples that illustrate the benefits of art and music for stress relief or academic performance.

coherence cohesion

While the essay maintains a good flow, consider using some transitional words or phrases to further strengthen the connectivity between paragraphs and ideas. This can enhance the overall coherence.

task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and covers all parts of the prompt effectively, maintaining relevance throughout.

task achievement

The ideas presented are clear, comprehensive, and well-supported by logical reasoning that maintains reader engagement.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively open and close the topic, reinforcing the central arguments.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is well-organized. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to an overall persuasive piece.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
cognitive abilities
academic performance
self-expression
therapeutic
cultural awareness
globalized world
diverse cultures
technological advancements
interactive tools
accessible
engaging
STEM subjects
well-rounded individuals
innovative
problem-solvers

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Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Your opinion

Some young people choose to leave their hometown in the countryside to live in big cities, talk about the reasons behind this situation and provide possible solutions

It is controversial whether longer sentences can reduce the crime rate.What is your opinion about this issue?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for the individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this?