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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, most of the information is available on the Internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh its disadvantages?

These days, technology is developing, so most of the
data
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 are on the
Internet
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;
in contrast
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, in the prior time, the
information
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 is stored in published resources.
while
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 saving
data
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 on the
Internet
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 has some drawbacks, I still believe that they cannot overshadow the merits. On the one hand, the upsides of storing
data
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 in online platforms are so varied.
Firstly
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, when all
information
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 is on the
Internet
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, global communities have access to a range of that database really convenient. In fact,
this
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 development aids international citizens to improve their knowledge about everything when they are in different situations like travelling to work with public transportation.
Secondly
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,
This
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 trend is eco-friendly inasmuch as populations use their electronic gadgets for following news, books, and so forth rather than reading the paper-base items that need to log trees and deforestation for production.
On the other hand
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,
Internet
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-based
data
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 have some demerits that impact future
information
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 owing to the fact that books and newspapers create a chance for people to have some archives about one phenomenon and save them for the future.
Whereas
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, online
information
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 triggers a matter that communities who share
data
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 on the
Internet
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 can delete or change them in the short run.
In other words
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, people will be able to see some
data
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 that won't comply. To summarise, accessibility to a variety of
data
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 anywhere and at any time and saving the environment from deforestation are the cause of encouraging the public to share their
information
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 on the
Internet
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.
However
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, in the future, people won't have total
information
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. In conclusion, I think that the benefits of
this
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 fashion can eclipse the downsides.

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task achievement
Ensure more specific examples are provided to support arguments, enhancing the richness of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on the clarity of complex sentences to improve comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which are well-aligned with the task.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, which makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The response addresses all parts of the task, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital Age
  • Information Overload
  • Convenience
  • Accessibility
  • Digital Divide
  • Knowledge Dissemination
  • Reliability
  • Data Privacy
  • Cybersecurity
  • Environmental Impact
  • Up-to-date Information
  • Critical Thinking Skills
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