Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is an outlook suggesting youth generations must spend their entire
life
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until at least 18 years old in
schools
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. I do agree with
such
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view
Correct article usage
a view
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because
education
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plays a crucial role in social change, especially for the well-being of humans. To illustrate how it works, many
schools
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around the world have proved that their
students
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are more resilient in terms of facing the wave of modern
life
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than those who do not get an
education
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. It is because
education
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,
according to
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French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu, is a part of cultural capital which is able to convert into other capital like economic capital.
For example
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, it is acceptable in the entire business world that
education
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is the most important requirement for anyone seeking a job.
Furthermore
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, through
education
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, people will know better about their history and more wisely if one day they have to make a crucial decision for their own
life
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, company, or even society. Many
schools
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,
for instance
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, not only teach people to solve math or physics problems but
also
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equip
students
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with basic philosophy
as well as
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historical lessons.
In addition
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,
schools
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also
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allow their
students
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to have the knowledge of critical thinking which is beneficial for real
life
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. "Knowledge is power," said Michell Foucault. In conclusion, anyone must have experienced formal
education
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before they deeply dive into social real
life
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. So, in my opinion, it is crucial for people to go to school until they are at least 18 years old. By doing so,
students
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will be more capable in both
academia
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academic
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fields and social settings.
Submitted by anwarkur20 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present both sides of the argument if you decide to write a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Introduce linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, such as 'furthermore', 'in addition to', and 'moreover'.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive argument about the importance of education until the age of 18, making it easy for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure with a defined introduction and conclusion that reinforces the main argument.
task achievement
The essay includes specific references to theories by sociologists like Pierre Bourdieu and Michel Foucault, which adds depth to the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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