Some parents allow their children to play on electronic devices such as computers and smartphones as they think it is important for the learning of technological skills. Other parents prohibit their children from using these electronic devices. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In recent years, some parents have allowed their
children
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to
use
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phones, iPads, and other electronic
devices
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to help them develop
technology
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skills
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from an early age,
while
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others prefer to ban their
children
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from using
such
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devices
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.
While
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technology
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offers many benefits for skill
development
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, I believe that its excessive
use
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has a negative impact on
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children’s
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mental and physical well-being. Supporters of early exposure to
technology
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argue that using computers and smartphones helps
children
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develop critical
skills
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that are increasingly essential in the modern world. Access to advanced
devices
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allows
children
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to explore new concepts and become familiar with tools
such
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as programming languages, coding applications, and software design. These
skills
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can provide them with a competitive edge in academics and future careers.
For instance
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, research on child
development
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suggests that
children
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learn more efficiently at a young age because their brains absorb information quickly, much like sponges. Early exposure to coding apps and educational
technology
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can lead to greater proficiency in these areas, setting a foundation for success in
technology
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-related fields.
However
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, I would argue that the drawbacks of excessive
use
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of technological
devices
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outweigh the benefits. One major concern is the harmful effects on
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children’s
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physical health. The blue light emitted by screens can damage eye cells and disrupt sleep patterns,
while
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prolonged
use
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of electronic
devices
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can harm brain
development
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.
Additionally
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, overexposure to
technology
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can negatively affect
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children’s
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psychological well-being.
For example
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, studies have linked excessive screen time to issues
such
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as social withdrawal and reduced attention spans. In some cases, the overuse of smartphones has been associated with an increased risk of developmental disorders.
For instance
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, studies in the United States reported that
children
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who spend long hours on
devices
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are more likely to experience delays in social and emotional
development
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. Another significant issue is that
children
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who rely heavily on electronic
devices
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may miss out on essential real-world interactions and activities. Outdoor play and social interactions with peers and family members are crucial for building communication
skills
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and fostering emotional resilience. Parents should encourage their
children
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to engage in physical activities, creative hobbies, and games that involve interaction with others, as these contribute to a healthier and more balanced lifestyle. In conclusion,
although
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electronic
devices
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can help
children
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acquire valuable technological
skills
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and prepare for the future, their excessive
use
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poses significant risks to mental, physical, and emotional health. Parents should focus on moderating screen time and promoting alternative activities that support
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children’s
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overall
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development
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. Striking a balance between
technology
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use
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and traditional forms of play is key to ensuring the healthy growth of
children
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.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument about the impact of excessive screen time.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, though your essay already does this quite well, there is always room for subtle improvements.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded discussion of both perspectives concerning children's use of technology, effectively addressing the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, which help guide the reader through your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Points are supported with relevant research findings, enhancing the credibility of the arguments presented.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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