some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people
work
for the same organization their entire lives, while
others move between different companies
. Both approaches have their merits, but the dynamic nature of changing workplaces seems to offer more significant advantages in terms of personal and professional development.
Those who work
for the same institution are often very loyal, dedicated, and passionate about their field. This
dedication usually means they feel deeply connected to their work
and their workplace, fostering a strong sense of community and belonging. In my opinion, this
loyalty is admirable and can lead to a fulfilling and stable career. For example
, teachers often spend their entire careers at one school because they love teaching and have a strong commitment to their students.
On the other hand
, working for different companies
is common because people seek comfort and growth in their careers. Many individuals change jobs to find better opportunities and improved work
environments. I believe this
approach can enhance their skills and provide more diverse experiences, which can be very beneficial in a competitive job market. For instance
, office workers who do not receive promotions may apply to other companies
for greater career advancement.
In conclusion, both staying with one organization and changing jobs frequently have their own advantages. Working for the same organization can offer stability and a deep sense of loyalty,
Remove the comma
apply
while
switching between different companies
can provide varied experiences and opportunities for growth. However
, I lean towards working for multiple organizations to gain a broader range of experiences and maximize my career potential.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
To elevate your coherence and cohesion score, try to incorporate even more linking phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. For example, phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In contrast' can make your argument flow more naturally.
task achievement
Boost your task response by ensuring that all aspects of the prompt are fully explored. Consider adding a brief counterargument to show that you've thought about the issue from multiple angles.
task achievement
Your thoughts were clear and comprehensible, which made your arguments easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which greatly strengthened your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were well-structured, making your essay feel complete and polished.
coherence cohesion
Logical structuring of main points and smooth flow of ideas made it engaging to read.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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