IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

"Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion."

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Introduction
Few amount of human
belived
Correct your spelling
believe
 that various
industry
Replace the word
industries and
show examples
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
 need to be
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
 in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
Use synonyms
. Others amount
people
Use synonyms
 view that, they have to provide
allowess
Correct your spelling
allows
 anywhere for work.
Body paragraph 1
People
Use synonyms
 think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 government invest a lot of money for education
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. so, the
industrials
Fix the agreement mistake
industrial
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
provide services for
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 because can't get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 quality education
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 cost. If they
move
Use synonyms
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
low
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
those
area
Change the determiner
areas
show examples
 have seen
people
Use synonyms
 sortage and lower income
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 suffer with it.
For example
Linking Words
, Doctors like to
move
Use synonyms
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
, so
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
doctors shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
doctor shortages
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lower income forcelys go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 private
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 which
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 more expensive
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 them.
In addition
Linking Words
, If industrial skills workers
move
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 our
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 innovation can't
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a good way.
Body paragraph 2
like, Engineers are one of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 high demand
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, they provide not only good innovation but
also
Linking Words
 help
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 that
contry
Correct your spelling
country
. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, Family and friends
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 happy to get help from them If they stay. suppose, the Doctors family if
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 ill
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will come for
checkup
Add an article
a checkup
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 his relative.
Conclusion
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 free wheel If they want to
move
Use synonyms
whether
Change preposition
to
show examples
 countries they can. For moving
Change preposition
to other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 they can generate good experience. example, They can work with top
industrials
Fix the agreement mistake
industrial
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 that bring them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good and effective help for their career.
Also
Linking Words
, for better quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 they like to
move
Use synonyms
 there.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point supported by specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revisit the introduction and conclusion to ensure they effectively frame your argument. A stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points will help in providing a clearer structure.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas further to give a more comprehensive response to the task. Ensure all parts of the question are fully addressed.
Task Achievement
Increase the clarity of your ideas by organizing them into more distinct paragraphs and using more straightforward language.
Task Achievement
The essay includes both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the impact of professionals moving abroad on local communities, adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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