In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, many countries have been facing the situation of
ageing
Add an article
an ageing
society
. Some Use synonyms
people
believe that more and more elderly Use synonyms
people
can be beneficial in Use synonyms
society
, Use synonyms
whereas
others claim that it causes a lot of social issues. In Linking Words
this
essay, I illustrate the pros and cons of the Linking Words
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
society
.
It is true that the current elderly Use synonyms
people
are beneficial and useful. Elderly Use synonyms
people
can become an essential labour force by using their working experiences and knowledge. Some of the current works cannot be replaced by technology and robotics, Use synonyms
for example
, hospitality is keen on the tourism industry and their long-term experiences are beneficial to managing the hotels and tourist places. In Kagawa prefecture, Japan, an elderly group has been cleaning up the beach every day and showing hospitality to tourists. Their efforts are welcoming foreign tourists and the number of tourists has been increasing.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, there are a lot of social issues which governments have to solve. Linking Words
First,
the health care Linking Words
system
may become in balance. The demand for health care will be increasing Use synonyms
due to
the rise of the elderly population. Linking Words
However
, the number of hospitals, doctors and nurses is limited, Linking Words
therefore
, many Linking Words
people
might not take medical services. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, the pension Linking Words
system
can be affected. It is obvious that younger workforces need to support more elderly Use synonyms
people
than before. If Use synonyms
this
situation continues, the social support Linking Words
system
cannot continue in the future.
In conclusion, elderly Use synonyms
people
are beneficial with regard to Use synonyms
as
the workforce by using their experiences. Change preposition
apply
However
, the ageing Linking Words
society
will face several issues Use synonyms
such
as the healthcare Linking Words
system
and the pension Use synonyms
system
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.Linking Words
Submitted by hojoeri on
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task achievement
Consider expanding on the point about the healthcare system by providing more specific examples or statistics, such as aging societies with delayed medical treatments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For instance, consider adding a linking sentence at the end of the first body paragraph to smoothly transition to discussing societal issues.
task achievement
The essay introduces a clear position and maintains it throughout, effectively outlining both advantages and disadvantages of an aging population.
task achievement
The use of Kagawa as an example is strong, providing a specific context that supports your point about elderly contributions.
coherence cohesion
The essay's conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reaffirms your overall assessment, which enhances the clarity of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.