Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or dis agree with this.

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Music

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has many genres that can be enjoyed by a variety of

people

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without any background limitations, namely culture and age.

This

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happens because

music

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can bring relatable

experiences

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and create solidarity.

Therefore

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, I completely agree that

music

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is a good way to unify

people

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despite their differences. First of all, many artists like to write

music

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based on their

experiences

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such

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as love life. Usually, they create sad songs that relate to the majority of

people

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. There is no limitation in experiencing a sad relationship because it might happen to everyone. Because of

this

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people

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can enjoy songs without cultural or age barriers. Take Taylor Swift

for instance

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, she has the biggest listener in the world because her lyrics are relatable to general

people

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experiences

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Secondly

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people

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who have the same

music

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taste are most likely to form a fanbase. In

this

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group,

people

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can get a sense of camaraderie

although

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coming from different backgrounds.

This

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happens because they share the same interest so they feel more open to other

people

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. Consider the now-rising Korean boy group, BTS: they have a solid fanbase from all over the world called ARMY that gives

people

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the opportunity to meet

people

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from different countries. In conclusion, I believe that

music

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can eradicate the barriers of culture and age because

people

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can feel the relation to their own

experiences

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Moreover

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, fans of

music

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can

also

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create a group where they can share their interests freely.

Hence

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music

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is an enjoyable entertainment that gathers

people

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together.

ieltswriting91Fri Jan 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

You have demonstrated a decent capacity to organize your essay in a clear and logical manner. However, there are areas where transitions between ideas could be made smoother. Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure that the essay flows more naturally from one point to the next.

task achievement

While your essay addresses the topic adequately, you need to develop your main points more thoroughly. The examples provided could be further elaborated to strengthen the argument. Consider expanding on your ideas with additional detail and incorporating multiple perspectives to enhance the depth and breadth of your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or dis agree with this.

Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.

In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, advertisement targeting children is on the rise. Some people think that it has a negative impact and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?