In many countries, people watch many foreign made television programs and Internet videos. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Those who choose entertainment in society remain a side
effected
Change the form of the verb
effect
for
Change preposition
by
original
Correct article usage
the original
wisdom
of Use synonyms
nation
. I strongly agree with Add an article
the nation
this
statement because being selective for leisure time should be filtered by local Linking Words
culture
.
First and foremost, deciding to earn Use synonyms
a
happiness is not only Remove the article
apply
provides
by technology but Wrong verb form
provided
also
cultural Linking Words
wisdom
to gain in-depth knowledge about a Use synonyms
spesific
local tradition as Correct your spelling
specific
area
of interest. When society Add an article
an area
the area
focus
on one side without considering their natural Change the verb form
focuses
culture
, slow but sure their tradition will be extinct. Use synonyms
For instance
, traditional dance Linking Words
perfomed
on Correct your spelling
performed
national
day independence day with young people. They would not Capitalize word
National
to
do Change the verb form
apply
the
Correct article usage
a
perform
without knowing their Replace the word
performance
culture
, and Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
is
Wrong verb form
would be
embarrasing
for countries if they Correct your spelling
embarrassing
lost
their tradition. In Wrong verb form
lose
such
cases, they can Linking Words
learned
from the Change the verb form
learn
elder
who have experience Fix the agreement mistake
elders
for
traditional dance.
Change preposition
in
Futhermore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
those
without the desire Change preposition
for those
of
keep traditions, modern technology Change preposition
to
had
Wrong verb form
has
dual
part, the good one is Add an article
a dual
the dual
spread
the local Fix the infinitive
to spread
wisdom
easily to the world, Use synonyms
the
worst one is containing a bad Correct word choice
and the
culture
Use synonyms
into
the locals. Change preposition
in
In contrast
, frequently filtering outside Linking Words
culture
is Use synonyms
the
mutual Correct article usage
a
obligations
Fix the agreement mistake
obligation
among
Change preposition
in
the
society. For Correct article usage
apply
examples
, the live streaming of social media Fix the agreement mistake
example
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show
the outside Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
culture
who do not fit with Use synonyms
local
, Correct article usage
the local
it
will Correct pronoun usage
which
make
some confusing Verb problem
create
paradigm
among societies, they will think that the outside Fix the agreement mistake
paradigms
culture
Use synonyms
are
better Change the verb form
is
compre
with their own.
In Correct your spelling
compared
conclussion
, local Correct your spelling
conclusion
culture
should Use synonyms
be keep
original and Change the verb form
be kept
being
continue as Unnecessary verb
apply
legacy
until the next generations. Correct article usage
a legacy
Linking Words
While the
technology Change preposition
The
comes
only used as Verb problem
is
a tools
to spread Correct the article-noun agreement
a tool
tools
the
traditional Correct article usage
apply
wisdom
among societies.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on strengthening logical connections between ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
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task achievement
Clarify and expand your ideas in each paragraph to ensure they are comprehensively explained. Aim to make your points clear and well-supported with detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have made an effort to provide relevant examples, which helps in illustrating your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.