Many people today spend most of their free time watching TV series or movies instead of going out. Do you think this is right or wrong?

#people #time #tv #series #movies #right

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this

Linking Words

era, most of person spend their daily activities

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

watching TV series or cinema rather than doing physical activity. Even though there are many conveniences to watching videos on your phone, I think more than disadvantages if you compare it to going out.

Firstly

Linking Words

, your movement exercise is to be low because you can get access online easily. Everybody can stay anywhere and anytime in every of the world to watch a movie.

Moreover

Linking Words

, It can be searched on Google to show videos. Because of that, your body can be impacted regarding applying healthiness. It can make you are lazy to do exercise which increases the risk of many diseases which relate to blood pressure.

Secondly

Linking Words

, watching series or

film

Fix the agreement mistake

films

show examples

too much sometimes has a negative impact on children. They can watch a dangerous film, and implement it in real life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, going out

such

Linking Words

as nature adventure or meeting friends can have a positive impact on us.

First,

Linking Words

it can raise your knowledge because they share daily life with each other and solve problems together so they can get important information which the others do not know.

Next,

Linking Words

you can heal your mind if you see outside the room. There are many variety things or person which you know so that it can make your body more relaxed. All in all, I think spending enterprise going out is more attractive than wasting time

apply

Wrong verb form

applying

show examples

watching

Correct article usage

the watching

show examples

feature.

However

Linking Words

, sometimes watching online is not a bad action for people especially apply introverted people.

Submitted by rodhi.kelvianto14 on Sun Jan 05 2025

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Task Response

Clarify points with specific examples to strengthen your task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve logical transitions between ideas for better coherence.

General Advice

Enhance grammar and vocabulary usage for more precise expression.

Introduction and Conclusion

Well-structured introduction and conclusion framing the essay.

Task Achievement

Addresses the prompt by examining both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Many people today spend most of their free time watching TV series or movies instead of going out. Do you think this is right or wrong?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

diagram showing Brick manufacturing process