IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that governments should invest more in public transportation instead of building new roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #governments #transportation #roads
It is generally accepted that the government should be concerned more with public transportation rather than investing in roads. I wholeheartedly agree with the statement of the development of the public uses.
This
 essay will demonstrate why I support
this
 idea throughout the following paragraphs. The first initial reason for having a good public commute is to have a better condition of living. Rather than using their own vehicle and turns to
use
 the local cars, can reduce the toxic gas in the air.
This
 is because the number of cars or buses has been limited, later on, it will become more fresh air.
In addition
, being surrounded by fresh air will provide humans with better health.
Besides
 staying healthy, it can help the resident save money. The price of the local
use
 is quite cheap, if all the workers change their transporting routine from driving their own cars, and turns to
use
 the sky train, which can save their expenditure a lot.
For instance
, in the modern period, fuel payment has bounced up quite a lot from the past, which doubled the cost.
Additionally
, if the workers
use
 the BTS, it is way cheaper than the fuel cost,
then
 they can save money on other significant occasions in the future. In conclusion, all the reasons mentioned above are many benefits to all the residents if they turn to
use
 the locals' car or trains. As a suggestion, the government should bring more convenience functions to these things because it can draw people's attention to change their minds about the middle uses.
Submitted by sasinipapj on

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task response
Your essay presents a clear position throughout, which aligns well with the task requirement. To enhance clarity and improve the strength of your argument, ensure every point is directly linked to the question's topic.
sentence fluency
Increase the variety and complexity of your sentence structures to enhance fluency. This will help in presenting your ideas more dynamically and improve the readability of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Remember to use paragraphs to structure your essay clearly. One idea per paragraph helps in maintaining a logical flow and makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
content
Effective use of examples to support your arguments.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framed your position.
content
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, with relevant points about the advantages of improving public transportation over building new roads.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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