Many people are involved in sports when they are young but strobo they are adult. Why do many does stop doing physical exercises what can be done about this problem?

#people #sports #strobo #adult #exercises

Participation in sports works as a cure for mental and physical illness. Some individuals embrace games from a very young age,

while

at a certain age period of adulthood, they completely

inhibit

Wrong verb form

inhibited

show examples

to practice

Change preposition

from practicing

show examples

a game. Both reasons and solutions for

this

problem will be discussed before a reasoned conclusion. Physical activity is the first companion of every child

instead

of a mature person.

Firstly

, most of the grown-up

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

are employed in certain companies.

Due to

a 9-to-5 working hours job or long hours shift, grown-ups cannot find extra time for body stretching exercises.

Along with

work, they have to take care of their loved ones and add the financial constraints of the entire family

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

to their shoulders.

For instance

, working mothers are busy with their personal and professional responsibilities, from nourishing their kids to submitting office projects timely. So, is it possible for them to brace for extracurricular sports activities?

Moreover

, interest varies in the adult age as few are more attracted towards shopping or going to theatres to watch movies.

In addition

, PlayStations are popular among young ones as adolescents spend thousands of dollars to purchase these gaming tools.

Hence

, 3D effects and escapism make their preference more than outdoor involvement in real tournaments. In spite of there being multiple causes to cater to, many solutions are provided to these causes.

To begin

with, higher authorities would start awareness campaigns for the benefits of athletic games and how continuous practising can lead to good posture and better health.

Also

, if minimum wages could be upscaled,

then

middle-class employees would be able to devote some time to their physical fitness.

Furthermore

, children mimic their parents whether it is good or bad.

Similarly

, if they inspire or help their kids in active involvement in different physical recreation,

then

it proves to be a great step to change future life with more upcoming sportsmen or women from each nation.

Overall

, if all the approaches stated above are religiously followed, there will be a promising trend in more involvement of outdoor games among adults that would be beneficial for both participants and the country.

Submitted by sarabjeetk8899 on Sun Oct 20 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task but tends to overlook some subtle facets, such as the specific transitions from youth involvement in sports to dropping out in adulthood. Consider expanding the analysis to include more nuanced personal and societal factors.

coherence cohesion

The essay could improve in logically linking ideas; for instance, how financial stress specifically correlates with dropout rates in sports needs more elaboration.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear sense of the topic and summarizing the content effectively.

task achievement

Appropriate examples related to lifestyle changes in adulthood offer helpful insight into the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people are involved in sports when they are young but strobo they are adult. Why do many does stop doing physical exercises what can be done about this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railwaw lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled they say that the only way to increase recycling is for goverments to make it a legal requiremet. to what extent do you agree or diagree

In modern society, many people think that primary schools should teach science and technology rather than history and geography, which are useless and boring. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?