IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people view sports as an important feature of our society while others feel it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are divided arguments about
sports
Use synonyms
 having a great influence on daily life
while
Linking Words
 the others said it is only activity in the spare of moments.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both and give the arguments for those statements.
First,
Linking Words
doing those activities will be important because it can gain connections and relationships with other
people
Use synonyms
. Especially if
people
Use synonyms
 join a
sports
Use synonyms
 team, they will find other friends or relations.
Due to
Linking Words
 sharing the same
things
Use synonyms
, they tend to upper their friendship level, which is more than just hobbies.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 who already have a good career will try to join golf clubs and find other
people
Use synonyms
 to widen their opportunity to make a great deal in business.
However
Linking Words
, the opinion that said it is only normal daily
things
Use synonyms
 because they do not get anything that has a big impact, except maintain their body to keep fit.
This
Linking Words
 happens because they only have the perspective to do exercises and do not have plans to find new friends.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, they prefer to keep their private lives not being known. So, they only interact
in particular
Linking Words
 places,
such
Linking Words
 as office, school or their neighbours.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it happens a lot in individual
sports
Use synonyms
 that do not need teamwork. In the end, these statements created
as a result
Linking Words
 they do not have any specific
things
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
 those
things
Use synonyms
. In summary, it depends on what
people
Use synonyms
 want to do in their activity, some
people
Use synonyms
 will do another purpose other than
sports
Use synonyms
 or just enjoy the moments to kill time in their leisure time and maintain their body.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task to improve your score further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly for better cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.
Task Achievement
Use of examples effectively supports the points made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: