You said: It is difficult for many people to create a balance between their professional and their personal life. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many individuals find it hard to differentiate their professional and personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Since humans have an emotional well-being, it is only obvious that sometimes we act
according to
Linking Words
our feelings and ambitions.
Besides
Linking Words
, people might have responsibilities that they can not just abandon. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
problem could be prevented with the policies that companies have. To start with, society these days is very competitive. They have created the concept of toxic productivity. In which, people are sacrificing all of their free
time
Use synonyms
to work with an ambition of being the most successful. As a matter of fact, people are driven too much by their ego and ambitions which lead to them losing track of
time
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they might be the main provider for their family, and it is reasonable for them to want to present the best.
For instance
Linking Words
, a father is working all the
time
Use synonyms
, to provide his daughter with a good education.
However
Linking Words
, there are things that companies could do to prevent these situations. It relies on the policies that they have. As an example, they could provide their employees with a high salary.
Consequently
Linking Words
, employees would not be underpaid and looking for side jobs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
could set the right amount of leave days. In my experience, there are employees who constantly get their applications for leave rejected.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the most important part is for the company to set their strict working hours.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, these solutions could only be applicable if the individuals had good
time
Use synonyms
management.
Submitted by iigness05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that each point made in the essay is fully expanded with examples or explanations. For instance, when discussing companies' solutions, elaborate further on how the proposed actions specifically help balance personal and professional life.
coherence cohesion
Maintain paragraph focus by consistently relating back to the main idea or thesis. Transition words can help the reader understand the progression of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction and effectively outlines the issue at hand.
task achievement
Both causes and solutions of the problem are addressed, which fulfills the task requirements well.
task achievement
The essay suggests practical solutions, such as company policies, to the problems discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: