Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

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Many

people

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believe that having monetary resources is the key to happiness.

This

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essay discusses some possible reasons why some

individuals

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feel

this

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way and what other aspects of

life

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contribute to one's contentment. There are two main reasons why

people

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think having monetary power can lead to a happier

life

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Firstly

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, wealthy

individuals

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have financial freedom.

This

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due to

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them being able to comfortably pay for their basic needs and luxury items without having to worry about their finances all the time.

In particular

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people

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who receive higher amounts of money tend to travel more regularly,

as well as

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, purchase the latest goods in the market.

Additionally

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, being wealthy often means having a better

life

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quality. To be more precise,

people

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who have monetary resources in abundance usually have high-quality nutrition, live in safer neighbourhoods, and can afford better health treatments, if necessary.

On the other hand

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, other aspects are crucial to one's happiness. The first of these is regarding

people

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's relationships.

This

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is because humans are social animals, and

therefore

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, one of society's basic needs is to have constant social interactions.

For instance

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, recent studies have shown that wealthy

people

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are more susceptible to depression

due to

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poor relationships and loneliness, making them in need of constant psychological treatment.

Moreover

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, participating in charity activities is something that increases

people

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overall

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life

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contentment.

This

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is because helping others in poor conditions can bring a sense of usefulness to

individuals

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. In conclusion, the reasons why owning a lot of money increases

people

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's happiness are

due to

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financial freedom and having better

life

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quality.

However

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, other aspects

also

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contribute to

individuals

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' contentment

such

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as personal bonds and being active in society's charity programs.

Submitted by amandacflago23 on Mon Apr 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

To further improve, aim to integrate more varied and complex sentence structures throughout your essay. This can enhance the flow of ideas and keep the reader engaged.

task achievement

Consider including more specific examples or case studies that highlight your arguments. This will provide a stronger evidence base for your points and make them more relatable to the reader.

task achievement

Your essay provides a balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument, which is an excellent strategy for this type of question.

coherence cohesion

You effectively used an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay, which helps in clearly presenting and summarizing your points.

coherence cohesion

The organization of your paragraphs and the logical flow of ideas was well executed, making your argument easy to follow.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subject. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Many students find it is harder to study at university or college compared to when they were in grade school. Why is this? What are some possible solutions for this problem?

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.