IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is said that some
people
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 argue that at present the major environmental difficulty is the loss of particular species of plants and animals,
while
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 others believe that there are more important environmental problems. I will discuss these two views before presenting my own. On the
one
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 hand, some
people
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 claim that if we have enough vegetation with special specifications that may lead to normal temperatures and not face global warming today.
For example
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, it is undeniable that there are various kinds of herbs that can make the weather colder than normal. To prove
this
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, if you walk in a forest or a park with a large colony of trees, you probably would feel that the temperature is a little colder than outside.
Furthermore
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, If creatures on our planet were from types that very soon after pass away converting to soil good ingredients, our planet would have high-quality soil for fertile new vegetation and producing oxygen and because of that we have fresh and cold weather too.
However
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, I am not convinced by
this
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 opinion because there are more ways to reach
this
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 goal easily. After all, it takes more time.
On the other hand
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, another group of
people
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 justifiably believe that there is more than
one
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 significant environmental problem.
For example
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, the overuse of aeroplanes with
people
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 leads to global warming too. As I the experience that I read an article about global warming because burning aeroplanes fuels it.
Likewise
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,
people
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 who dump their waste into the environment like plastic have an adverse effect on it.
Also
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, air pollution because of the misuse of vehicles by humans is another
one
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. In conclusion, in my view, I strongly believe that environmental issues are more than
one
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 and need to be considered.
However
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, I
also
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 believe that vegetation and animals on our planet play a vital role and should be in consideration too.

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task achievement
Strengthen task achievement by incorporating more relevant examples that directly support your main points. This will help make your arguments more persuasive and illustrate them more vividly for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each point is systematically linked to the next to enhance logical flow. While the overall structure is clear, some transitions between points could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that encompass the main argument, helping provide a comprehensive framework.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear understanding of the task by discussing both views and declaring your own opinion, which is well-articulated in the conclusion.
task achievement
The main points related to environmental issues are well-developed and you provide a balanced discussion of both perspectives.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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