Some people think developing countries should invite large foreign companies to open offices and factories to grow their economies. Others think developing countries should keep the large companies out and develop local companies instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days, there is an ongoing debate about the most effective way to support the economic growth of developing countries. Some recommend seeking help from developed
nations
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,
while
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, others argue that undeveloped
nations
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should improve their economy on their own. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both these views and give my own perspective. First of all, some find the efficient solution for the economic growth of developing countries in launching branches of credible factories or offices in developing
nations
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. Despite the fact that
this
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approach would cause dependency on
such
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nations
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, it would increase employment opportunities and
also
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enhance the quality of life in host communities. A salient example of
this
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is the establishment of some factories by the United States in some African cities in order to produce some drugs from plants, growing exclusively in Africa. So, rather than remaining deprived of enjoyment
due to
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a lack of knowledge and technology, implementing
this
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process could benefit the whole world by treating many patients.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that
instead
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of relying on large foreign companies, allowing existing local businesses to grow is more beneficial. Of course,
this
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process would be accompanied by some difficulties,
however
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, it nurtures an independent society, owning the potential to make
further
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breakthroughs in the long term. It seemed to be impossible after World War ll in 1945;
however
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,
according to
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the statistics, Japan became the most self-sufficient country in 2022, because of relying on its small companies and businesses and expanding them by working hard and not giving up. It is,
therefore
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, worthwhile investing. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
although
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receiving help from developed
nations
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paves the way toward immediate advancement, I consider them fragile achievements.
Thus
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, if governments wish to be consistent in pursuing their dream toward progress, it is advisable to commence from small national companies.
Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on

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task response
To improve task response, try to provide a bit more detail in your examples or expand on your points to give a more comprehensive idea of your perspective.
coherence
While your logical structure is quite good, transitions between some points could be smoother. Consider using cohesive devices to connect your ideas more naturally.
coherence
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the essay.
task response
Your use of relevant examples supports your arguments well and enhances your task response score.
coherence
The essay maintains clarity and coherence throughout, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Job creation
  • Advanced technologies
  • Skill development
  • Economic dependency
  • Infrastructure improvement
  • Homegrown industries
  • Equitable economic development
  • Cultural identity
  • Sustainable practices
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