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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that allowing children to make decisions on every day choices such as food, clothes, entertainment will result in a society of individuals who think only of themselves, others are of the opinion that decision should be made about issues which affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #decisions #choices #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decision
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Some people believe that allowing
children
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 to make
decisions
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 about everyday choices,
such
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 as food, clothes, and entertainment, may result in a society of individuals who are overly
self-centered
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self-centred
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. They argue that if kids are given too much freedom to decide on these matters, they may grow up with an inflated sense of entitlement and lack consideration for others.
For instance
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, people who are allowed to choose their meals or clothing without guidance may develop unrealistic expectations about always getting their way, which could lead to challenges in cooperative settings later in life.
On the other hand
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, others argue that
children
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 should be encouraged to make
decisions
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 on issues that directly affect them. Proponents of
this
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 view suggest that allowing
children
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 to make
decisions
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 fosters independence, critical thinking, and self-confidence. When they choose their food or entertainment, they learn responsibility and the consequences of their actions.
For example
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, a child who decides to skip vegetables for dessert may eventually understand the importance of a balanced diet. In my opinion, a balanced approach is the best way forward.
While
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children
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 should indeed be given some autonomy in making
decisions
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 related to their personal preferences, these
decisions
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 should be guided by adults to ensure they do not harm their well-being or social development. Parents and teachers can help
children
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 develop decision-making skills by offering a range of options and explaining the consequences of their options. In conclusion,
while
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 there are valid arguments on both sides, I believe that a balance between guidance and freedom allows youngsters to grow into well-rounded individuals who are both independent and considerate of others.
Submitted by dolgion.zorigoo99 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all key points in the task prompt are addressed with equal clarity and depth.
task achievement
When presenting multiple views, develop them further with additional supportive evidence.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear linkage between points to improve the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and balanced discussion of both views.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically structured with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The use of examples helps to clarify and support the ideas presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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