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Writing Samples
Band 7

These days, many university courses are offered through the internet. Some people think that online teaching has more advantages than conventional classroom teaching or lectures, while others claim that there are significant disadvantages. Do the benefits of online teachings outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, there is an ever-increase in the
courses
Use synonyms
 which are offered online.
This
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 essay claims that the main advantages of
this
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 phenomenon are
time
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 saving and its economic feature whilst the prime disadvantage is the lack of social interaction. It is conspicuous that
courses
Use synonyms
 online allow
students
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 to save money and
time
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is because a day spent at school is far more expensive than a day which is spent at home. Indeed, conventional classroom teaching and lectures involve several expenditures for learners. In
this
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 regard, those youngsters have to pay transport fees and
also
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 their food when they stay for long hours out of their homes.
Furthermore
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,
courses
Use synonyms
 through the Internet allow
students
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 to save precious
time
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 because of the fact that they avoid traffic jams.
therefore
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, numerous countries are tending to develop
this
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 method of schooling.
For instance
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, France set up in the year 2023 new curriculums that include more than 30% of online
courses
Use synonyms
. the
On the other hand
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, many others urge decision-makers in education to stop
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this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
online schooling because of the fact that it creates an overwhelming lack of social interactions. In fact, when
students
Use synonyms
 stay at home, they are not able to exchange with their peers. They ineluctably have a virtual relationship with their teachers and their mates.
Moreover
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, there is a renowned difference between physical
courses
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 and virtual ones.
Hence
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,when
students
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 attend
courses
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 in real classrooms and interact with human beings
instead
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 of computers, they certainly enjoy a better human experience.
For
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this
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 reason, many nations
such
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 as Morocco, gave up online
courses
Use synonyms
 as
students
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 felt depressed because of the human interaction deficiency. In conclusion, the benefits of
courses
Use synonyms
 through the Internet are
time
Use synonyms
 and money saving.
However
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, there are inconveniences to
this
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 breakthrough
such
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 as the lack of social exchange between
students
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. It is crystal clear that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages because mental health is far more consequential than money.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your main points. Adding more detail could make your arguments more convincing to the reader.
coherence cohesion
There are small grammatical errors and typos, such as missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences. Reviewing such minor points can lead to a more polished essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This enhances the reader's understanding.
task achievement
The main ideas are clearly outlined and each paragraph focuses on a specific point, which makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
There is a good balance of discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which provides a comprehensive view on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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