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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Is is generally believed that some people are born with certain talent, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that can be taught to become a good sports person or musicians. Discuss both sides and your own opinion.

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The
ability
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 to play a musical instrument and sports has become a debate;
while
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 some argue that people are born with the specific
talent
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 to do it, others believe that the skills can be taught.
Although
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 every individual has an inherited
ability
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 for certain activities, I believe that consistent
practice
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 and dedication are essential for them to become proficient. Natural
talent
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 is a gift that allows someone to excel in a particular field, as it gives someone a head start from their competitors. It acts as a foundation that provides an edge in mastering specific skills more quickly than others.
This
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ability
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 can come from their genetics, enabling them to possess an innate aptitude or physical advantage in certain aspects.
For example
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, Michael Phelps, who holds many records in the Olympic Swimming Competitions, is a literal Aquaman because his lungs are able to save 5% more oxygen than normal people.
Thus
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, the
ability
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 to play certain activities can be enhanced just by possessing natural
talent
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.
However
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,
while
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 natural talents provide advantages, they do not guarantee success without dedication and
practice
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. Without
practice
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,
talent
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 would be wasted, as consistent effort is required to transform potential into proficiency in any field. Many naturally gifted individuals fail to achieve their potential
due to
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 a lack of effort,
while
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 others with average abilities surpass them through determination and consistent effort.
For example
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, studies conducted at Georgia Tech found that students who
practiced
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practised
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 musical instruments for over 10,000 hours significantly outperformed their peers with natural
talent
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 but less
practice
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, highlighting the importance of hard work and discipline over inherent
ability
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. In conclusion,
while
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 possessing inherent capability can increase one's likelihood of success
in as
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apply
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in a particular field,
consistent
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the consistent
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practice
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 remains essential for transforming potential into tangible
achievem
Correct your spelling
achievement

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task achievement
Your task achievement is strong, addressing both sides of the argument and providing a clear statement of your opinion. To improve, ensure equal depth in discussing both perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
The coherence and cohesion in your essay are generally effective, with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance logical flow, consider using more linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction successfully sets up the debate and clearly states your stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure throughout, with each paragraph contributing to building your argument.
task achievement
You provide strong examples, such as Michael Phelps, to support your points, which is effective in illustrating your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate
  • skilled
  • field
  • successful
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • long-term
  • nurturing
  • honing
  • training
  • mentorship
  • potential
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