The use of mobile phones has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?
An increase in mobile phone usage has increased sharply in the twenty-first century.
Besides
making a phone call, mobile phones
nowadays are multifunctional devices. From my point of view, cell
phones
enhance convenience in communication
whereas
they also
disrupt real social interaction among people
.
To begin
with the advantages, cell
phones
have been developed significantly, evolving from simple calling devices to multifunctional gadgets with internet access. This
ability truly changes the nature of communication
between people
. Texting via some applications such
as LINE or WeChat has become more popular in current communication
since it does not disrupt anybody from their activity. Instead
, the users can simply reply to the message when they are available or feel comfortable. Moreover
, those applications even allow us to send presentation files, pictures, audio or videos, leading to effective communication
.
Nevertheless
, there are still some drawbacks of
Change preposition
to
cell
phones
. Particularly they decrease the real social interaction among people
. Using cell
phones
triggers us to be more in the online world over
the real world. Change preposition
than
This
leads to a decrease in face-to-face communication
and makes us not know how to act or behave properly when we meet other people
in real situations. Furthermore
, it can draw the users’ focus or attention to their work due to
numerous notifications from social media applications such
as Instagram or X since they trigger their adrenaline to be released.
In conclusion, mobile phones
have both advantages and disadvantages. However
, if the user uses it properly, it certainly gives them more benefits.Submitted by phakawat.chu on
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task achievement
Your essay does an excellent job at addressing the task prompt. You have clearly outlined both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones in the twenty-first century. However, adding more specific data or studies could strengthen your arguments even further.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and logically structured, making it easy to follow. Each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly into the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to enhance the connection between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You appropriately introduced and concluded your essay, both of which are well-crafted. The introduction sets the stage for your arguments, and the conclusion effectively wraps them up. Some more detail in the conclusion to summarize main points succinctly could be beneficial.
task achievement
You provide comprehensive ideas that are clear and relevant to the topic. Your points are directly related to the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is commendable. Each paragraph transitions naturally to the next, making your argument coherent and easy to follow.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific applications like LINE or WeChat and their functionalities makes your examples relatable and concrete, enhancing the overall argument.