The use of mobile phones has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?

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An increase in mobile phone usage has increased sharply in the twenty-first century.

Besides

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making a phone call, mobile

phones

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nowadays are multifunctional devices. From my point of view,

cell

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phones

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enhance convenience in

communication

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whereas

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they

also

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disrupt real social interaction among

people

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To begin

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with the advantages,

cell

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phones

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have been developed significantly, evolving from simple calling devices to multifunctional gadgets with internet access.

This

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ability truly changes the nature of

communication

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between

people

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. Texting via some applications

such

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as LINE or WeChat has become more popular in current

communication

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since it does not disrupt anybody from their activity.

Instead

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, the users can simply reply to the message when they are available or feel comfortable.

Moreover

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, those applications even allow us to send presentation files, pictures, audio or videos, leading to effective

communication

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Nevertheless

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, there are still some drawbacks

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show examples

cell

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phones

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. Particularly they decrease the real social interaction among

people

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. Using

cell

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phones

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triggers us to be more in the online world

over

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than

show examples

the real world.

This

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leads to a decrease in face-to-face

communication

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and makes us not know how to act or behave properly when we meet other

people

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in real situations.

Furthermore

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, it can draw the users’ focus or attention to their work

due to

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numerous notifications from social media applications

such

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as Instagram or X since they trigger their adrenaline to be released. In conclusion, mobile

phones

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have both advantages and disadvantages.

However

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, if the user uses it properly, it certainly gives them more benefits.

phakawat.chuTue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay does an excellent job at addressing the task prompt. You have clearly outlined both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones in the twenty-first century. However, adding more specific data or studies could strengthen your arguments even further.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized and logically structured, making it easy to follow. Each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly into the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to enhance the connection between your ideas.

coherence cohesion

You appropriately introduced and concluded your essay, both of which are well-crafted. The introduction sets the stage for your arguments, and the conclusion effectively wraps them up. Some more detail in the conclusion to summarize main points succinctly could be beneficial.

task achievement

You provide comprehensive ideas that are clear and relevant to the topic. Your points are directly related to the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, which shows a good understanding of the task.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of your essay is commendable. Each paragraph transitions naturally to the next, making your argument coherent and easy to follow.

task achievement

The inclusion of specific applications like LINE or WeChat and their functionalities makes your examples relatable and concrete, enhancing the overall argument.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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The use of mobile phones has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?

Some people think that is better to work alone and others think that is better to work in a team. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and details to support your opinion.

Is forcing students to study hard is a good idea? Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

The media has become too influential in peoples lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.