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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #technology #development #decreases #crime
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Technology is getting better in quality day by day.
While
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 the role of technology is considered to mitigate the number of crimes others feel that
instead
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, it is the root of increasing law breakings. I tend to agree with the letter's view. Because there are new types of crime. On the one hand, technological development can be the reason for decreasing crime statistics by providing several gadgets in order to catch criminals.
For instance
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, a video camera can be a great option for it.
While
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such
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 kinds of devices are being put into every corner of cities, people may be afraid of committing illegal activities
such
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 as increasing the speed of vehicles and robbing
due to
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 the risk of being recorded on cameras.
In addition
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, nowadays in the majority of banks, there are special technological instruments which help the police to get information about bank robbing and protect the banks from being robbed.
However
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, I agree with those who argue that enhancement technology is creating a substantial chance for committing crimes. The reason is, as the qualities and functions of computers and their apps develop, criminals are doing cyberterrorism, hacking and even making fake identifications. Nowadays, cybercriminals can create fake links for social media accounts or messengers and when the victim opens them, they can get information about their bank status and cards. As soon as they get passwords, scammers can use the victim’s money. As for the letter, they can get access to an individual’s internet account. In conclusion, I would argue technological development may create a variety of chances for scamming people.
Therefore
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, it must be concluded as a dangerous activity.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Make sure your arguments are balanced. Discuss each viewpoint in equal detail to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs by using more linking words or phrases.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, setting up the context for the discussion effectively.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples, like the use of video cameras and cybercrime tactics, which enhance the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • surveillance
  • forensic science
  • cybercrime
  • data theft
  • anonymity
  • illicit activities
  • law enforcement
  • jurisdictions
  • crime prevention
What to do next:
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