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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

An increasing number of professionals such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

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There has been debate over the professionals,
such
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 as doctors and teachers, who have left their undeveloped nations to work in advanced countries.
This
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 action could damage the poorer countries even more.
This
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 essay will discuss the potential issues and suggest solutions to address them. The problem of some doctors and teachers who left their poor nation to find a better job in another
country
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 has become a common action in recent years. The main reason is to enhance their quality of living. Poorer countries fail to provide well-paid jobs and systems to ensure professional's rights.
Hence
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, they are most likely to move to rich nations that will provide them with all their wishes.
For example
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, the renowned scientist Ahmd Zaben claimed that he struggled to find a job in his
country
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 and he felt forced to leave.
Moreover
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, once he moved his name became famous. To address these issues. One effective solution could be for the government to ensure professionals's rights. And provide them with opportunities to thrive.
In addition
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, leading awareness campaigns on social media and in schools. That will educate people about the risks of leaving the
country
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. And how it will affect both nations and citizens in the long term.
also
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, making plans to promote state development and start to take real actions.
For instance
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, a similar action in India resulted in a 52% decrease in the
country
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's immigrants. In conclusion, professionals leaving their lands is a major issue that can impact the economics of the
country
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 and the citizen's development.
Although
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 it can be tackled through educating people about the dangers.

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of ideas by ensuring each paragraph links smoothly to the next. Consider using more connecting words and phrases for better coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the main points discussed. This will enrich the essay and demonstrate how the concepts apply in real-world scenarios.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the question are thoroughly addressed, especially the potential problems and solutions. Provide more depth and details in your explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the topic and what the essay will cover.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively without introducing new information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Human capital
  • Economic development
  • Financial incentives
  • Global cooperation
  • Knowledge transfer
  • Capacity-building
  • Inequality
  • Human resources
  • Retention strategies
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Educational infrastructure
  • Professional migration
  • Skilled workforce
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