IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter, describe what you enjoyed about the course say how much cooking you've done since the course suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer

#course #director #cookery #school #ve #offer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Hi Mr Bob, I would like to provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
feedback on the cookery classes in your school.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I enjoyed the teachings and practical classes of the course because the lecturers were
prodiving
Correct your spelling
providing
 detailed tutoring
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how to create a simple dish, which was an egg dish.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have been cooking for a year since the course. After all the lectures and practical
classses
Correct your spelling
classes
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have been experimenting
different
Change preposition
with different
show examples
 types of
cuisine
Use synonyms
, like French
cuisine
Use synonyms
, Italian
cuisine
Use synonyms
 and Chinese
Cusine
Correct your spelling
cuisine
show examples
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 my journey.
This
Linking Words
 has
broaden
Change the verb form
broadened
show examples
 my horizon towards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new
delicacy
Fix the agreement mistake
delicacies
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 the history of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I would like to offer a suggestion for the school to introduce another cookery course which is Indian
cuisine
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Indian
cuisine
Use synonyms
 offers
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 variety of spices to combine with and methods to prepare the spices
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 will enhance students' knowledge and taste buds as they will experience
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different spices that they never had before. I hope that
this
Linking Words
 offer of mine could benefit everyone who not only enjoys cooking but eating as well. Sincerely, Adrian
Submitted by kimtatt.tan97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider mentioning a specific aspect of the egg dish preparation or a memorable moment from the class to add more depth to your enjoyment description.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent capitalization, especially at the beginning of sentences and proper nouns.
coherence cohesion
The opening and closing of the letter are appropriately polite and formal.
task achievement
The writer has effectively conveyed their enjoyment of the course and their subsequent cooking endeavors.
task achievement
The writer provides a clear suggestion for a new course and explains its benefits, which shows a well-rounded task response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: