Some people think that the government should spend money on treating ill people, while others believe that a better way is to invest in developing the country.

Recently, the debate over proper
government
spending has become even more intense, with two opposing sides unable to reach a consensus. One side believes that it is better to allocate funds towards treating the ill,
while
the other side opposes
this
view, arguing that investing in economic
development
is more beneficial. In
this
essay, I will discuss
both
perspectives and offer my own opinion.
To begin
with, those who support
government
spending on
healthcare
argue that the best way is
spending
Wrong verb form
to spend
show examples
money on the ill. By treating the ill, there may be individuals among them who can significantly contribute to the country’s improvement.
Moreover
, supporters argue that it is
also
beneficial for the
government
itself, as healthy citizens are able to work, contribute to society, and help drive
development
. Another argument in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of
government
healthcare
spending is related to taxes, if people are healthy and employed, they are more likely to earn income and
thus
be capable of paying taxes to the state.
Therefore
, it is better to spend on treating the ill.
On the other hand
, some argue that investing in economic
development
is a more effective use of
government
funds. They contend that enhancing infrastructure, education, and job creation will lead to sustainable growth and improve the
overall
quality of life for citizens. By focusing on economic
development
, the
government
can stimulate innovation and attract foreign investment, which ultimately benefits the entire nation.
Moreover
, a strong economy can provide the necessary resources to fund
healthcare
initiatives in the future, creating a cycle of improvement for
both
health and economic stability. In conclusion,
while
there are valid arguments for
both
spending on
healthcare
for the ill and investing in economic
development
, I believe that a balanced approach is essential. Treating sick individuals not only helps improve their lives but
also
has the potential to enhance the country's future.
However
, investing in economic growth is crucial for providing the resources needed to support
healthcare
initiatives. Ultimately, a combination of
both
strategies will lead to a healthier and more prosperous society.
Submitted by khmukhid on

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task achievement
To further enhance your essay, include more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments. This will make your points more tangible and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Consider making transitions between paragraphs more explicit. This can be achieved by using signaling words or phrases, which will enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You've presented a well-structured introduction and conclusion, providing a clear and concise overview of the debate and summarizing your stance effectively.
task achievement
Your essay effectively balances the discussion by evaluating both perspectives, which makes for a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure that guides the reader through your arguments, making it easy to follow your reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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