Some people think that the government should spend money on treating ill people, while others believe that a better way is to invest in developing the country.

Recently, the debate over proper

government

spending has become even more intense, with two opposing sides unable to reach a consensus. One side believes that it is better to allocate funds towards treating the ill,

while

the other side opposes

this

view, arguing that investing in economic

development

is more beneficial. In

this

essay, I will discuss

both

perspectives and offer my own opinion.

To begin

with, those who support

government

spending on

healthcare

argue that the best way is

spending

Wrong verb form

to spend

show examples

money on the ill. By treating the ill, there may be individuals among them who can significantly contribute to the country’s improvement.

Moreover

, supporters argue that it is

also

beneficial for the

government

itself, as healthy citizens are able to work, contribute to society, and help drive

development

. Another argument in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

government

healthcare

spending is related to taxes, if people are healthy and employed, they are more likely to earn income and

thus

be capable of paying taxes to the state.

Therefore

, it is better to spend on treating the ill.

On the other hand

, some argue that investing in economic

development

is a more effective use of

government

funds. They contend that enhancing infrastructure, education, and job creation will lead to sustainable growth and improve the

overall

quality of life for citizens. By focusing on economic

development

, the

government

can stimulate innovation and attract foreign investment, which ultimately benefits the entire nation.

Moreover

, a strong economy can provide the necessary resources to fund

healthcare

initiatives in the future, creating a cycle of improvement for

both

health and economic stability. In conclusion,

while

there are valid arguments for

both

spending on

healthcare

for the ill and investing in economic

development

, I believe that a balanced approach is essential. Treating sick individuals not only helps improve their lives but

also

has the potential to enhance the country's future.

However

, investing in economic growth is crucial for providing the resources needed to support

healthcare

initiatives. Ultimately, a combination of

both

strategies will lead to a healthier and more prosperous society.

Submitted by khmukhid on Thu Oct 31 2024

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task achievement

To further enhance your essay, include more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments. This will make your points more tangible and convincing.

coherence cohesion

Consider making transitions between paragraphs more explicit. This can be achieved by using signaling words or phrases, which will enhance the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

You've presented a well-structured introduction and conclusion, providing a clear and concise overview of the debate and summarizing your stance effectively.

task achievement

Your essay effectively balances the discussion by evaluating both perspectives, which makes for a comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

You have a logical structure that guides the reader through your arguments, making it easy to follow your reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government should spend money on treating ill people, while others believe that a better way is to invest in developing the country.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways tohelp them. Do you agree or disagree?

The figure shows demographic trends in Scotland. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You are interested in applying for a job advertised in a local newspaper. Write a letter to the hiring manager expressing your interest and outlining your qualifications and experience.