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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this develomeng bring more advantages or disadvantages.

#home #hands #machines #develomeng
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In
this
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 modern era,
due to
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 the advancement of technology, many tasks are now done by
machines
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. I personally think that it brings more advantages than disadvantages. One of the advantages is definitely efficiency in doing housework.
However
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, it may result in
people
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 becoming lazy and spoiled. In
this
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 essay, I will explain more about the topic To start with, many
machines
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 are now invented every other day. In my opinion,
this
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 improvement can really help
people
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 at home doing the work.
For instance
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, I am the worst person when it comes to the floor-cleaning. With a vacuum machine, I can easily clean and mop the floor in my room within 30 minutes. I personally believe that the technology development in these areas could really be useful to most
people
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 on
this
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 planet.
However
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, there are disadvantages that could
also
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 affect some values of our life. These
machines
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 can turn
people
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 into their laziest form.
For instance
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, some of my friends will not even touch the grass outside
due to
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 the hot temperature without their air conditioners. The air conditioner itself can
also
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 create a bad impact towards our environment
such
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 as the ozone.
Therefore
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, I think it is undeniably important to not overlook the issues that came with it as well. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages when it comes to
machines
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. I personally think that it has a far greater impact on our housework.
However
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, the bad sides of it should not be ignored,
thus
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 we need to find solutions for
this
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 matter.
Submitted by iigness05 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more varied examples to strengthen your argument. Including examples from different areas such as health or leisure could enhance your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning between ideas more fluidly to maintain the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively present your main argument.
task achievement
You provide a clear and comprehensive response to the task.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • labor-saving devices
  • efficiency
  • consistency
  • precision
  • physical burden
  • productivity
  • reliability
  • utility bills
  • energy consumption
  • electronic waste
  • environmental challenges
  • self-sufficiency
  • dependency on technology
  • skillset
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