IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The qualities that help people reach success in modern life can not be learned in university or other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there has been much debate about whether the
qualities
Use synonyms
 that contribute to
success
Use synonyms
 in modern
life
Use synonyms
 can be learned in academic
institutions
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that academic
education
Use synonyms
 plays a pivotal role in developing
such
Linking Words
 traits, I believe that the key
qualities
Use synonyms
 for
success
Use synonyms
—
such
Linking Words
 as resilience, emotional intelligence, and adaptability—are often cultivated outside traditional
education
Use synonyms
 systems. One argument against the idea that universities teach the essential
qualities
Use synonyms
 for
success
Use synonyms
 is that academic
institutions
Use synonyms
 focus primarily on theoretical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 rather than practical
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, university courses are often
centered
Change the spelling
centred
show examples
 around technical subjects like mathematics, science, and humanities, which do not necessarily address crucial
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as time management, interpersonal communication, or problem-solving under pressure. These abilities, which are vital for
success
Use synonyms
 in today’s world, are usually developed through real-world experiences
such
Linking Words
 as internships, volunteer work, or personal challenges.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
success
Use synonyms
 in modern
life
Use synonyms
 requires emotional intelligence and resilience—
qualities
Use synonyms
 that cannot be effectively taught in a classroom.
For instance
Linking Words
, the ability to navigate social relationships, manage stress, and persevere through setbacks is usually honed through
life
Use synonyms
 experiences rather than academic lessons. Consider successful entrepreneurs who may not have received formal
education
Use synonyms
 in business but have thrived
due to
Linking Words
 their adaptability and innovative thinking. These attributes are learned in a variety of contexts, including work environments, personal
life
Use synonyms
, or even through self-reflection, rather than in a university setting. That being said, academic
institutions
Use synonyms
 do contribute to a person’s
success
Use synonyms
 by providing foundational
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and critical thinking
skills
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a strong understanding of business principles, technology, or science can open doors to career opportunities and offer a framework for approaching complex problems.
However
Linking Words
, these intellectual
skills
Use synonyms
 must be complemented by non-academic
qualities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as creativity, persistence, and emotional intelligence to truly thrive in the modern world. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 academic
institutions
Use synonyms
 undoubtedly provide essential
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and critical thinking
skills
Use synonyms
, the
qualities
Use synonyms
 that are most crucial for
success
Use synonyms
 in modern
life
Use synonyms
—
such
Linking Words
 as resilience, adaptability, and emotional intelligence—are typically learned outside of formal
education
Use synonyms
. A well-rounded individual who succeeds in today’s world must possess a blend of both academic
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and practical
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
, which are often developed through experience rather than classroom instruction

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your response is well-rounded, touching upon different aspects of the topic. However, adding a counterargument to explore what qualities can be nurtured in academic settings in more detail might strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points, such as naming entrepreneurs or describing specific non-academic experiences that develop emotional intelligence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is solid. To enhance cohesion, ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, possibly by checking that each topic sentence forecasts the paragraph's main idea clearly with linking words.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion succinctly wraps up all your main points and reaffirms your stance. A brief summary of the key arguments in the conclusion can reinforce the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clearly supported with logical arguments which are well articulated and reinforced throughout the essay.
task achievement
You've successfully highlighted the critical qualities like resilience and emotional intelligence, which provides depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay, and you maintain this focus, addressing the task effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional intelligence
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • real-life experiences
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • networking
  • leadership
  • communication skills
  • practical application
  • ongoing learning
  • adaptable
  • innovative
  • academic curricula
  • academic qualifications
  • determination
  • perseverance
  • risk-taking
  • modern life success
  • theoretical knowledge
What to do next:
Look at other essays: