The line chart details participants according to activity at a social center in the Australian city of Melbourne from 2000 to 2020

#line #participants #activity #center #australian #city #melbourne

The line graph illustrates the number of participants

according to

engagement at a social centre in Melbourne between 2000 and 2020. Looking at the graph, the number of individuals was by far the highest in the film club, with the opposite being true for table tennis.

In contrast

, others did not observe significant changes during the period but there were some fluctuations. As far as a film club is concerned, the count of attendees was just under 70 in 2000 decreased slightly, and dipped steadily to 60 in 2010, ending at about 65 in 2020.

Additionally

, the participant numbers were half in 2000 and fluctuated slowly by standing at above 30 in 2015, going up to 37 in 2020.

Furthermore

, participant figures for musical performances showed an upward trend and there was a levelling off a plateau at 15 in 2020. When it comes to amateur dramatics, the number of participants was 26 in 2000, falling to 5 in 2020. Participants in table tennis were under 20 in 2000, increasing steadily to 20 in 2005 and remaining unchanged in 2010 at the same time there was an intersection with the former at 20 in 2010, rocketing significantly to above 50 in 2020.

Submitted by raufpasayev83 on Sun Aug 04 2024

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task achievement

Ensure the overall trends and specific details from the graph are clearly highlighted and fully described to provide a comprehensive response. For example, the introduction and conclusion can summarize the overall trends more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing sentence structure variety and transitions between points to improve the logical flow of ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas logically.

coherence cohesion

Clarify the descriptions of the data points using precise language to make comparisons more evident and ensure each activity's trend is individually clear.

task achievement

The general trends of each activity in the given period are noted and described with relevant specific examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay is structured with a clear introduction and body points covering different activities, making it relatively easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

202 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The line chart details participants according to activity at a social center in the Australian city of Melbourne from 2000 to 2020

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why it is happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging (?)for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children.

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?