Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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According to
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some
people
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, strict
punishments
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for driving offences are important in order to reduce
traffic
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accidents
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.
However
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, others, including me, believe that other measures would be more effective for
road
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safety. On one hand, there are several benefits that strict
punishments
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can bring. Penalties for dangerous
drivers
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can be a deterrent, so
people
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avoid repeating the same offence. There are various types of driving penalties,
such
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as fines, licence suspension, and even prison sentences. The main aim of these
punishments
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is that they show dangerous
drivers
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that their actions have negative consequences for not only themselves but
also
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other
people
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, in
road
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accidents
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. So, in
this
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case, strict
punishments
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can be an effective way to punish those
drivers
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and make them more disciplined and alert, and
that
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apply
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they follow the rules carefully.
On the other hand
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, there are other ways to calm
traffic
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accidents
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. It is essential to educate
people
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vitally, before giving them a driver's licence. It can be done in schools or other courses. From a very young age children should be taught to be careful when travelling by car or other transport means.
Moreover
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, more attention could be paid to better
road
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designs. Warning signs and extending roads can be effective.
For example
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, in Uzbekistan, roads are very narrow which can contribute to
accidents
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with cars.
Additionally
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, in remote areas, there are insufficient
traffic
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lights and
road
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bends.
As a result
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, many
road
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accidents
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take place and frequently happen. In conclusion,
while
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strict
punishments
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can help to reduce
traffic
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accidents
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, in my view it is essential to consider other measures,
such
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as improving
road
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design and adding necessary signs to warn
drivers
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.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Coherence
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that transitions between ideas are smooth and clear to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Although you have addressed both views and provided a conclusion, try to further develop each argument with more detailed supporting evidence or examples for a more complete response.
Coherence
Try to clarify complex sentences and avoid over-reliance on passive constructions to improve overall clarity and comprehension.
Coherence
Make sure to use a varied range of sentence structures to demonstrate your language proficiency.
Coherence
Logical structure is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You have clearly addressed the task by considering both views and providing your own opinion.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
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