People now spend more and more time at home than in the past. What are the reasons for this development and what its effects on people and society.

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These days, people's lives are so varied from the prior times owing to the fact that they spend more
time
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in their homes.
This
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essay discusses the main causes of
this
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trend and its impact on the community's members. The reasons for
this
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fashion is the technology and work-life balance. The fact
that is
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really crucial is that in the previous
time
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, populations spent their free
time
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on nature, cinema, and so on.
Whereas
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,nowadays, technology provides an opportunity and good pastime for communities to have access to a range of electronic gadgets like video games, TV, and so forth.
In addition
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, most employees prefer to work remotely inasmuch as
this
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way creates a chance for them to have more
time
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to chore household and have an income. Unfortunately,
this
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development has an adverse effect on populations' health and social behaviour. When global inhabitants spend a great deal of
time
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in their houses, they get a habit of sedentary lifestyles, the main reason for health problems,
such
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as heart attacks.
Moreover
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, not interacting with others puts the population's mental matters at risk.
Additionally
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, if communities do not go out and invest their
time
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with their friends in public places, their social behaviours do not improve. In fact, the rate of people who can communicate with new people has reduced.
To sum up
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,
this
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trend is a consequence of developing technology in the new era and earning money in confidence situations.
Furthermore
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,
this
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fashion impacts human health situation and their manners with other members of society.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support the points being made. For instance, mention specific technologies or remote work trends to make your arguments more concrete.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the coherence of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, perhaps by using more transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are addressed, and their impacts are discussed in a logical manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Remote work
  • Streaming services
  • Smart home devices
  • Safety and security
  • Pandemics
  • Family bonding
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Home-cooked meals
  • E-commerce
  • Home delivery services
  • Foot traffic
  • Extended community
  • Health issues
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