IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

An increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and there is no longer a sense of community. What are the reasons for this? How to solve it?

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, it is undeniable that
people
Use synonyms
 now become
individualism
Replace the word
individualistic
show examples
 and
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of socialism resulted
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
not
recognize
Wrong verb form
recognising
show examples
 their neighbors as well.
This
Linking Words
 issue can be influenced by various factors including working
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine some key factors of the problem and suggest some possible solutions to
adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
Linking Words
 problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are some factors that can be added into account why
people
Use synonyms
 become more individual.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
. recently
technology
Use synonyms
playing
Wrong verb form
has played
show examples
 a significant role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our society, more
pople
Correct your spelling
people
 enjoy their activity
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet rather than physical interaction.
For example
Linking Words
, it is very common to see
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the train using
earphonep
Correct your spelling
earphones
earphone
 and playing with their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 rather than talking to each other.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, working from anywhere or working from home makes
people
Use synonyms
 more
individualism
Replace the word
individualistic
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 method of working
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
people
Use synonyms
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
less
interacts
Replace the word
interaction
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
co-worker
Fix the agreement mistake
co-workers
show examples
 especially
they
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who might be working with
technology
Use synonyms
 things
such
Linking Words
 as computer engineering,
developer
Fix the agreement mistake
developers
show examples
 and so on.
However
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, there are possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 take to
adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
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 issue, like
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 a community that
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 physical
attendence
Correct your spelling
attendance
 to create bounding each other
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in the area of
recidence
Correct your spelling
residence
,
thus
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 know their
neighbor
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbors
show examples
 as well.
To sum up
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,
eventhought
Correct your spelling
even though
even thought
technology
Use synonyms
 and
curret
Correct your spelling
current
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 of working
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 applied to
this
Linking Words
 society
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 a
commmunity
Correct your spelling
community
 can be
option
Correct article usage
an option
show examples
 to handle
this
Linking Words
 issue.

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task achievement
To improve, provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your points. For instance, you might include specific scenarios or studies that illustrate how technology affects community bonds.
task achievement
Ensure consistent use of vocabulary and grammatical structures to enhance clarity. Pay attention to minor errors, such as tense consistency and plural forms.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas to enhance the essay's logical flow. Use linking words effectively to connect your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly presents an introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion of the issue.
task achievement
The main points are addressed, discussing technology and work-from-home trends as reasons for weak community ties, and suggesting community building as a solution.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic, acknowledging modern societal changes as influencing factors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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