IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Young adults should complete their
education
Use synonyms
 or graduate at least high
school
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will cover why
this
Linking Words
 is a correct decision because
education
Use synonyms
 helps in personality development and
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps
people
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 get a decent job. Young
people
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 are still not fully aware of their surroundings, and not getting fully educated can make them take the wrong path. Environments play a crucial role in developing someone's character, the high
school
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 community will allow them to be around
people
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 who care enough about their future and let them focus on more important things in life. Many
people
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 have dropped out of
school
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 and
as a result
Linking Words
, it did not end up very well. Most of them ended up being drug addicts or
alcoholic
Fix the agreement mistake
alcoholics
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. Getting a well-paid job is crucial and
education
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 will allow them to do that. Not having a degree can affect someone's life permanently, good reputation companies will not seek for
ungraduated
Add an article
an ungraduated
the ungraduated
show examples
 person.
Due to
Linking Words
 their lack of knowledge and experience in life
school
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 and college will help them to achieve that. My cousin suddenly decided to drop out of
school
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 and tried to find a job that was suitable for him, shocking news he could not find any no company wanted to hire him. Unfortunately, my aunt bought him a car so he
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 work as a taxi driver. In summary,
education
Use synonyms
 is not just learning science, math and other subjects. It helps in personality development and building well-respected individuals who can help the community and make the world a better place.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to use linking words to further enhance the flow between your paragraphs and points.
task achievement
Try to expand slightly on examples or scenarios to further clarify your points.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples that are directly related to the main points discussed, such as the personal story about your cousin.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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