Government should spend money to encourage the development of sports and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public. Do you agree and disagree?

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It has been argued that the ministry should invest finances to motivate the growth of play and craftsmanship for school-aged students,

instead

Linking Words

of patronizing skilled sportsmen and art programs for the common community. I agree with the statement because children are the upcoming forthcoming of the nation and if a person has been given training since childhood he will become more skilled than others. To commence with, the younger ones are the forthcoming of a nation as they will be leading the country in forthcoming,

therefore

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, the ministry should focus on their sports and art classes. If the government spend on the kids the outcome will be longer, as, from a young life they are into arts and sports and getting training .

Child

Fix the agreement mistake

Children

show examples

live more than a person and from a very young age they will start performing

hence

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their productivity will be more for a long time.

Moreover

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student

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

will be leading after their adults in the upcoming time .

For example

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, developed countries like the USA and the UK spend more on children to make a bright future for that country the more skilled they are the better the future of a nation . Another reason is that if a human gets training from a young life he will be more skilled in that area because he has been receiving classes for a very long time

also

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children grasp more than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults . Pupils are in the developing stage their minds and bodies are growing so they are more likely to learn faster than a person.

However

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, professional play and artistry performances already get enough funding from many other areas

hence

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, the government should focus on kids.

For instance

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, Sachin Tendulkar an Indian cricketer trained from childhood and became a very successful cricketer in his time-era.

To conclude

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, I agree with

this

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statement that the administration should invest in the development of sport and artistry for school-going students not embracing professional play and craftsmanship performance because pupils are the forthcoming of the country and

also

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if they get training from a young life they will be more skilled.

sanjanasharma1905Tue Jan 28 2025

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coherence cohesion

Work on ensuring clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. This will enhance the coherence and make your argument more persuasive.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific and varied examples to substantiate your arguments. This will help you demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

language

Pay attention to some grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for clarity.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task with a clear position on the topic, bringing forward relevant arguments about the importance of investing in children's sports and arts.

coherence cohesion

Contains a well-defined introduction and conclusion, providing a clear start and end to the discussion.

content

The discussion on the future potential of children and their capacity to skill up from an early age is quite insightful and relevant to the topic.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster
well-rounded development
creativity
teamwork
discipline
grooming
future growth
talented individuals
physical health
accessibility
inclusivity
socio-economic status
national pride
entertainment value
academic performance
long-term benefits
balanced development

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Government should spend money to encourage the development of sports and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public. Do you agree and disagree?

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the Airforce just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Society now has the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world, due to the improvement of automation. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fossil fuels are essential for producing electricity, powering industry and fueling transportation. However, one day we will reach a point when all the world's fossil fuels have been depleted. How can we conserve these resources? What are some alternatives to fossil fuels?