IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that scientific work on plants and animals is good. Others think it is dangerous. Discuss both views.

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Over the period of time, scientific research has been done to modify the existing products
such
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 as flora and fauna. It has been reckoned by some individuals that it has good
impacts
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 ,
while
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 others think it could have bad effects.
This
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 essay will elucidate both points of view on
this
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 essay. To commence with, different research done on plants and
animals
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 has some good
impacts
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 as it can make better changes in the existing plants and
animals
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. To expound, with the help of
science
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science,
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 it is possible to get the best outcome from two things by intermixing them with the help of scientific methods. Broccoli ,
for instance
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, is a genetically modified vegetable which was produced originally from cauliflower.
As a result
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, people were able to get more nutrients
for
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from
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 the
new
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newly
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 modified vegetable which will lead to
survival
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the survival
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 of human beings with good health.
Hence
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, the
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 statement reveals vividly
about
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apply
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the benefits of scientific tasks done for the improvement of living beings. On the flip side, the inventions on plants and
animals
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 have some negative
impacts
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,
as well as
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, it could lead to a new disease in living people. To expound, a number of chemicals or other products are being used to change the identity of the particular plant or
animals
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,
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apply
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 so that
the
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apply
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more and more benefits could be taken out from these creatures. The more the usage of
the
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apply
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biological products, the more the health and environment will deteriorate. To exemplify, people are having
the
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apply
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problems with consuming milk as they are becoming lactose intolerant,since the reason is the milk of
GMo modified
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GMo-modified
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 cows. Indeed, it can create more serious health hazards which could be new to human beings and not curable as well.
To sum up
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, science has brought numerous changes in various things which have some positive
impacts
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 ,simultaneously ,it has a few bad ones as well.
But
Correct word choice
However
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 it is inappropriate to give a clear idea about the outcomes of these interventions.

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task achievement
Consider providing more examples and elaborating on the points for each side of the argument to enhance depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow by using a variety of linking words and phrases throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents both views on the topic clearly with an introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the discussion.
task achievement
It uses examples such as Broccoli and lactose intolerance to provide practical illustrations of points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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