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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers. Others think that it’s depends on the attitude of the students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the workplace, some organizations prioritize smart dressing,
while
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 others focus more on the quality of
work
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. Both views have their advantages, depending on the specifics of the job and the company culture. On the one hand, companies that emphasize smart dressing believe it promotes professionalism and creates a positive impression. When
employees
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dress
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 neatly, it reflects discipline and respect for the workplace, which can enhance the company's reputation.
For instance
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, in customer-facing roles
such
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 as banking or law, having a well-dressed team can instil trust in customers and give the business a polished image.
On the other hand
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, organizations that value the quality of
work
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 over
appearance
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 argue that
employees
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 should be judged on their performance, not their
appearance
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.
This
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 view suggests that focusing on results leads to a more productive and inclusive environment.
Employees
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 who are not required to
dress
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 formally may feel more comfortable and can be motivated, leading to better outcomes. A case in point is in creative industries like tech or design where innovation is essential, allowing casual clothing can create a more relaxed and creative atmosphere.
Furthermore
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, some companies believe that dressing smartly can actually increase
employees
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' focus and productivity, as it helps to create a mental separation between
work
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 and personal life.
Additionally
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, smart dressing can convey a sense of unity and professionalism within the team, which may be important in certain
work
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 settings.
However
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, others would counter that a focus on
appearance
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 could sometimes create unnecessary pressure and detract from the primary objective: getting the
work
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 done.
Furthermore
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, it is important to consider that the rise of remote
work
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 has made apparel less significant, as people are judged more by their output than by how they
dress
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.
Consequently
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,
this
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 shift might indicate that the emphasis on smart dressing may not be as crucial as it once was. In my opinion, both approaches can
work
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, but the key is balancing
appearance
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 with performance. Companies should set expectations
according to
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 the type of
work
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 they do. In client-facing or formal industries, smart
dress
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 is important, but in more casual or creative settings, prioritizing
work
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 quality can lead to greater employee satisfaction and innovation. Ultimately, it's about finding the right balance between professionalism and productivity.

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task achievement
To enhance your score further, ensure all examples are directly tied to your main points throughout the essay and relate back to the thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied linking words or phrases to show subtle differences between your points, which may enhance your coherence score.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an excellent ability to discuss both sides of the issue, providing a well-reasoned opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Logical transitions between ideas support a smooth and coherent flow of argumentation throughout the essay.
task achievement
The examples used are relevant and support the main points, enriching the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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