IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think thid is a positive or negative situation?

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Society in some countries
think
Change the verb form
thinks
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 having a home is more crucial than renting it. The prices that keep
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 over the years considerably
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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 the reason to buy the
house
Use synonyms
 as fast as possible. Meanwhile,
this
Linking Words
 notion should be seen as a negative as nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 have
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
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 life related to their work. Indeed, owning a private
house
Use synonyms
 earlier could be a benefit for life.
People
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 don't need to spend money regularly for the rented, focusing only
to improve
Change preposition
on improving
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 the
house
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 either
indoor
Correct your spelling
indoors
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 or
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
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 with tastes by themselves.
However
Linking Words
, with so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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as
Change preposition
about
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 the impact of globalisation,
people
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 could move to another region suddenly
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on their
others priority
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other priorities
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 and
left
Wrong verb form
leave
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 their
home
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homes
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. A
house
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 could be a burden when
people
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 easily moved depend on their better chances. Nowadays, many job vacancies provide better salary and work environment.
People
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 have a lot of
jobs option
Fix the agreement mistake
job options
show examples
 they would like to do beyond their permanent resident
before
Rephrase
apply
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. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
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instance, a civil engineer often worked
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
duration
Add an article
a duration
the duration
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 of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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. After they finished
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one project in the
some
Correct your spelling
same
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 location, they could move to another one either on their new or old company. Employees who get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new opportunities
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work for would spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their new
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 if they had bought
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 permanent resident. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 think having a home is more significant than renting it,
this
Linking Words
 notion should be seen as a negative as
people
Use synonyms
 have high movement related to their better chances of life.

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structure
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. For instance, dedicate one paragraph to the reasons why owning a home is important, and another to the discussion on whether this is positive or negative.
language
Be more precise with your language. Some phrases are slightly awkward or unclear, such as "the prices that keep increased" and "others priority." Consider rephrasing these for clarity.
support
Include specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. For example, you could mention statistics about homeownership trends or provide a detailed example of circumstances where renting might be more beneficial.
content
Your essay touches on several important points regarding the advantages and disadvantages of homeownership, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
conclusion
You provide a clear conclusion that sums up your viewpoint effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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