It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal loves. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the recent epoch,
while
Linking Words
there are proponents who advocate taking risks in their professional and personal lives, there are opponents who have a diverse perspective. I am of the belief that endangering the stability of jobs has deleterious effects on people’s lives because they may lose their vocations, and suffer from insufficient salaries. On one hand, some employees change their jobs frequently for some reasons
such
Linking Words
as searching for a comfortable work environment. To explain, if they start a job, they will deal with new colleagues and managers, and
as a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
will enhance their communication
skills
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per a study conducted by Time magazine revealed that making a career shift with new co-workers can improve interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
by communicating with different personalities.
Thus
Linking Words
, what can be said is that altering vocations has a benevolent impact on the
skills
Use synonyms
of workers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite agreeing on the importance of upgrading personal
skills
Use synonyms
, departure from one job to another
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may lead to catastrophic consequences.
In other words
Linking Words
, when citizens enter corporations with limited experience,
this
Linking Words
may negatively affect their wages.
For example
Linking Words
, a number of Egyptian companies give salaries based on workers' performance; if they are not qualified enough, they will get a small amount of money.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is obvious that changing their professional life will have detrimental effects on people’s financial status. In conclusion, by highlighting the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that the demerits of taking risks surpass its merits. I think that these changes will not allow people to gain massive wealth through their working years.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to enhance coherence by connecting the ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. This will give the essay a more seamless flow.
task achievement
Include more diverse examples in the paragraphs to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
You provide specific examples to support your arguments, which makes your points more compelling.
task achievement
Your task response is thorough, addressing both pros and cons of taking risks in personal and professional lives.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically structured and support the central theme of the essay well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: