IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table chart compares the number of
population
Use synonyms
 in two countries Australia and Malaysia between 1980 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, as can be seen,Malaysia had a significant percentage of males.
While
Linking Words
 both nations received the Lowest figure in average annual. Other types
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 varying proportions
It is clear that
Linking Words
 Australia had the highest peak Female Percentage in the same years
However
Linking Words
, there were
decrease
Replace the word
decreased
show examples
 points in average annual and the birth rate from 1.2 to 1.5.
In addition
Linking Words
, in both years the male
population
Use synonyms
 had nearly the same number of females around 49.9.1%. In 1980 and 2002 had millions of total from 14.7 to 19,6.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 aged over 65 received between 9.6 and 12.4.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in Malaysia, there was an increase sharply
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the male
population
Use synonyms
 in the same years from 50.3 to 50.6.
Moreover
Linking Words
, females looked the Similar Points in 1980 and 2002.
However
Linking Words
, in the Birth rate, the Average annual + and aged over 65 had nearly the same percentage from 2.1 to 4.3.
Finally
Linking Words
, total
population
Use synonyms
 in 2002. I had a significant
Points
Correct your spelling
point of
show examples
 24.3
while
Linking Words
 in 1980 had just nearly 13.7.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, however, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: