In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is not a surprise that fast
food
has become commonplace these days. A huge number of
people
prefer to choose meal chains like McDonald's, Burger King, KFC and others as their main way of eating.
Subsequently
, a lot of
people
have serious health problems because it is very harmful to eat
such
foodstuffs constantly. And there is a view that the government should increase the tax on these purchases. And of course,
this
solution has its advantages and disadvantages. But I think the drawbacks are more. First of all, the main advantage of fast
food
is the opportunity to eat quickly and tastily for a small price. In fact, for
people
from low socio-economic levels,
this
method is very convenient and reliable.
Thus
, they do not need to spend large sums of money to cook a meal for themselves and their families.
As a result
, the introduction of additional taxes on
such
foodstuffs will negatively affect the financial possibilities of poor persons.
Secondly
,
such
price hikes for fast
food
in general will reduce its sales. It follows that the
fast menu
Add a hyphen
fast-menu
show examples
restaurant industry will start to give up.
For instance
, the number of McDonald's and similar networks will decrease.
This
forms the main disadvantage of tariffs, namely the availability of meals for
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
.
On the other hand
, adding more levies on fast
food
has a bright advantage. There is no doubt that
this
decision will affect the physical condition of our society in the best way. Obviously, the number of
people
suffering from obesity will decrease. So, making
fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
food
more expensive could lower health care costs for the government.
However
, introducing healthy lifestyle programs is
also
a good way to influence community nutrition.
To sum up
, I can say that there is no need to add more levies on fast
food
because it is each person's choice what to eat.
Nonetheless
, everyone should remember that we must try to prefer only healthy meals in order to keep our health and to show the right example to the younger generation.
Submitted by saedv460 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the prompt and provides a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of imposing a higher tax on fast food. However, to achieve a higher score, ensure your ideas are thoroughly explored and supported with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and better transitions to guide the reader through your arguments. Improving these aspects will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
task achievement
To strengthen your task response, ensure that all your arguments are consistently developed with specific evidence, illustrative examples, and sound reasoning. This will help make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction provides a succinct overview of what your essay will cover, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points while reiterating your stance. This will make your essay more cohesive and leave a stronger impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide structure to your response.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and presented both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your writing is generally clear and comprehensible, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: